Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

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Nowadays computers and mobile

games

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are one of the main and favourite leisure activities of school-aged children. Some of these

games

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can be considered cruel.

As a result

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, some adults find that

this

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kind of entertainment increases crime in megapolises. I disagree with

this

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statement and in

this

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essay, I will give some examples which support my opinion. First and foremost, alcohol, illiteracy and poverty have much more influence on enhancing levels of crime in the living areas than video

games

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For instance

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, a teenager who comes from a poor neighbourhood, without proper education, is more likely to get involved in illegal activity. Because his options to earn for living are limited by his surroundings and knowledge.

Furthermore

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, it is the drugs which influence other serious issues and lead to felonies. Some adolescents might become addicted to drugs or other substances and under their influence commit crimes.

Secondly

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, it is important to note that personal life experiences and behavioural patterns are usually gained through interactions with the inner circle.

Consequently

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, family and social environments play a bigger impact on upbringing than

games

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For example

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, if a child is taught well and gets enough attention from the family there is a little possibility that he will prefer a dangerous and not profitable way of living

due to

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the vast variety ahead of him.

To sum up

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, I do believe that violent

games

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can not be blamed for criminal actions.

It is clear that

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more significant factors affect the safety of major urban areas

such

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as alcohol, drugs and destitute neighborhoods.

samedovateacherSat Oct 26 2024

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task achievement

Ensure your argument remains consistent throughout the essay, as it enhances task achievement. While your main points are clear, aligning them directly with your thesis can make your position even stronger.

coherence and cohesion

While your logical progression of ideas is effective, consider using more varied linking devices between sentences and paragraphs to enhance flow and coherence.

coherence and cohesion

Although your introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose, extending the conclusion with a final thought or implication may leave a lasting impact on the reader.

task achievement

Effectively addresses the topic with relevant examples, such as the impact of poverty and illiteracy on crime rates.

coherence and cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are clearly structured, providing a solid start and end to the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Logical development of ideas, with clear differentiation and explanation of the main points.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

Some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have a risk. Do you think that advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people believe that funding space exploration is important. To what extent do you agree?

The world population has been increasing lately. One way to curb excessive growth in the third world countries is to restrict the number of children each couple can have to 1. Other people believe that empowerment of womanis a better way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railyway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believ ethe money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion