Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

#children #games #reason #violence #crime #cities #world

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Nowadays computers and mobile

games

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are one of the main and favourite leisure activities of school-aged children. Some of these

games

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can be considered cruel.

As a result

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, some adults find that

this

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kind of entertainment increases crime in megapolises. I disagree with

this

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statement and in

this

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essay, I will give some examples which support my opinion. First and foremost, alcohol, illiteracy and poverty have much more influence on enhancing levels of crime in the living areas than video

games

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For instance

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, a teenager who comes from a poor neighbourhood, without proper education, is more likely to get involved in illegal activity. Because his options to earn for living are limited by his surroundings and knowledge.

Furthermore

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, it is the drugs which influence other serious issues and lead to felonies. Some adolescents might become addicted to drugs or other substances and under their influence commit crimes.

Secondly

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, it is important to note that personal life experiences and behavioural patterns are usually gained through interactions with the inner circle.

Consequently

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, family and social environments play a bigger impact on upbringing than

games

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For example

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, if a child is taught well and gets enough attention from the family there is a little possibility that he will prefer a dangerous and not profitable way of living

due to

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the vast variety ahead of him.

To sum up

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, I do believe that violent

games

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can not be blamed for criminal actions.

It is clear that

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more significant factors affect the safety of major urban areas

such

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as alcohol, drugs and destitute neighborhoods.

Submitted by samedovateacher on Sat Oct 26 2024

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task achievement

Ensure your argument remains consistent throughout the essay, as it enhances task achievement. While your main points are clear, aligning them directly with your thesis can make your position even stronger.

coherence and cohesion

While your logical progression of ideas is effective, consider using more varied linking devices between sentences and paragraphs to enhance flow and coherence.

coherence and cohesion

Although your introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose, extending the conclusion with a final thought or implication may leave a lasting impact on the reader.

task achievement

Effectively addresses the topic with relevant examples, such as the impact of poverty and illiteracy on crime rates.

coherence and cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are clearly structured, providing a solid start and end to the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Logical development of ideas, with clear differentiation and explanation of the main points.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: ﻿﻿Your reason for writing ﻿﻿What you would like to happen ﻿﻿A nice, respectful style.

In recent years, many local shop owners have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging.

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: Your reason for writing What you would like to happen A nice, respectful style.