Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?
Nowadays computers and mobile
games
are one of the main and favourite leisure activities of school-aged children. Some of these games
can be considered cruel. As a result
, some adults find that this
kind of entertainment increases crime in megapolises. I disagree with this
statement and in this
essay, I will give some examples which support my opinion.
First and foremost, alcohol, illiteracy and poverty have much more influence on enhancing levels of crime in the living areas than video games
. For instance
, a teenager who comes from a poor neighbourhood, without proper education, is more likely to get involved in illegal activity. Because his options to earn for living are limited by his surroundings and knowledge. Furthermore
, it is the drugs which influence other serious issues and lead to felonies. Some adolescents might become addicted to drugs or other substances and under their influence commit crimes.
Secondly
, it is important to note that personal life experiences and behavioural patterns are usually gained through interactions with the inner circle. Consequently
, family and social environments play a bigger impact on upbringing than games
. For example
, if a child is taught well and gets enough attention from the family there is a little possibility that he will prefer a dangerous and not profitable way of living due to
the vast variety ahead of him.
To sum up
, I do believe that violent games
can not be blamed for criminal actions. It is clear that
more significant factors affect the safety of major urban areas such
as alcohol, drugs and destitute neighborhoods.Submitted by samedovateacher on
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task achievement
Ensure your argument remains consistent throughout the essay, as it enhances task achievement. While your main points are clear, aligning them directly with your thesis can make your position even stronger.
coherence and cohesion
While your logical progression of ideas is effective, consider using more varied linking devices between sentences and paragraphs to enhance flow and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Although your introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose, extending the conclusion with a final thought or implication may leave a lasting impact on the reader.
task achievement
Effectively addresses the topic with relevant examples, such as the impact of poverty and illiteracy on crime rates.
coherence and cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clearly structured, providing a solid start and end to the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Logical development of ideas, with clear differentiation and explanation of the main points.