IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attractions
It is sometimes argued that
tourists
 from overseas should be charged more to visit important
sites
 and monuments,
while
 local residents pay
with
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apply
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a cheaper price.
However
, I completely disagree with
this
 idea. On the one hand, the argument in favour
with
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of
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 the idea that higher price is charged to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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overseas
tourists
 would be that historical and cultural attractions often
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
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 on
the
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apply
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state subsidies to keep them going.
Resident
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The resident
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 population already pays money to these
sites
 through the tax system.
Nevertheless
, I think it is a very shortsighted view.
Tourists
has
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have
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 contributed to the economy of
host
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the host
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country
 by spending their money
with
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on
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 a wide range of goods and services, including food, accommodation, and travel. It may
see
Correct your spelling
seem
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 unfair if they should pay higher prices to visit tourist
sites
. The governments and inhabitants should be happy to subsidise important tourist attractions
,
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apply
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 and encourage people around the world to visit them.
On the other hand
, if travellers have to pay more when visiting cultural heritage, they may decide not to go to that
country
. In the UK,
for example
, the tourism industries and many related jobs rely on visitors coming
the
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to the
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country
 to see places like Windsor Castle and Saint Paul's Cathedral. These two
sites
 charge the same price regardless
nationality
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of nationality
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, and
this
 helps to promote the important heritage
sites
.
Moreover
, if overseas
tourists
 stopped coming
due to
 higher prices, there would be a risk of insufficient funding for the maintenance of these important buildings.
As a result
, it may influence
to
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the decrease
of
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in
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host
Correct article usage
the host
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country
's tourism sector. In conclusion, I believe that every effort should be made to attract
tourists
 from overseas, and it would be counterproductive to make them pay more than local residents.
Submitted by mohamadazhariazar on

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Coherence and Cohesion
While the essay covers the stance clearly, work on refining your points with more detailed examples and logical connections.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure every argument directly links back to your main statement and expands upon it.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the subject from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clearly stated and relevant to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas presented are logically ordered with a reasonable flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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