IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Government around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #world #billions #support #space #programs #money #research #improvements #health
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Nowadays,
the ministry
Replace the word
ministries
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 around the globe are
expense
Verb problem
expanding
show examples
 their allocations to support
space
 explorations.
However
, some people argue that it is better to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
 on educational purposes,
add
Correct word choice
and add
show examples
comma
Fix the agreement mistake
commas
show examples
, especially in human medicine. Despite all the advantages of understanding human
lifes
Correct your spelling
life
lives
, I strongly agree that
space
 programs are more important
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than human medicine. First and foremost,
space
 exploration
is has
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more potential than research improvements in human health. It can
allows
Change the verb form
allow
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 the scientist to discover new things beyond Earth's boundaries that the researcher has never
find
Wrong verb form
found
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 before.
For example
, the
astronout
Correct your spelling
astronaut
astronauts
 from
Unites
Correct article usage
the Unites
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 States
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a mission to go to other planets to discover a wide range of phenomena,
such
 as black holes and solar activity.
Consequently
, they will answer
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
fundamental questions about the universe, and advance their understanding of various aspects of
space
whereas
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 they can continue to analyze on their laboratorium.
Secondly
, one of the most
prioritize
Replace the word
prioritised
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thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 is for the economic benefits as their investment to always innovate new things. The
space
 programs can stimulate economic growth regarding the technology advancements.
Furthermore
,
government
Add an article
the government
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 can collaborate with NGOs and agencies to provide high-tech jobs, drive innovation, and foster partnerships.
For Instance
, research institutions in Indonesia
makes
Change the verb form
make
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 satellite services and launch the products
on
Change preposition
in
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 November 2022. As an effect, it creates job opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
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 engineering graduates in the aerospace sector. In conclusion, a country's involvement in
space
 programs has multifaceted impacts that extend beyond
space
 exploration itself. In the future, I believe that developing countries
are
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 more aware to focus on the scientific things beyond the Earth.
Submitted by aulia2207nadila on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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