IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is debatable whether experiencing
peer
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
 would empower individuals in a healthy way or their performance under it would be degraded. Despite the strong opinion stating that overcoming
peer
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
 is necessary, I believe that under some circumstances, that kind of
pressure
Use synonyms
 would turn into a toxic factor affecting people’s lives.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, dealing with
peer
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
 can mean squeezing oneself into a framework, limiting their ability to grow. If someone is suffering from
peer
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
, there is a high chance they are trying hard to catch up with others.
However
Linking Words
, everyone is unique in their own way, having their own pace, talents, and hobbies.
Thus
Linking Words
, chasing after someone else’s success is a waste of time.
Instead
Linking Words
, they should focus on their own selves and strive for self-development, and personal growth.
For instance
Linking Words
, some kids are told to become doctors or other academic professional fields. Growing up witnessing and being compared with successful relatives,
this
Linking Words
 young generation is likely to pursue a wrong path
that is
Linking Words
 against their will, wasting dreams, and gifted abilities
such
Linking Words
 as drawing, composing music, etc.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the reason for the positivity towards
peer
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
 is its hidden chance of turning into a great motivation. There are no
such
Linking Words
 faults in striving for a better self. People who can transform
pressure
Use synonyms
 into the courage to explore new things, seek knowledge
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and take risks to process the characteristics of being successful. A relatable example is that if someone is insecure about their appearance, suffering
peer
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
 from good-looking celebrities, and models,
then
Linking Words
, they will put themselves into a disciplined healthy diet, and lifestyle. They successfully achieve their goal.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
peer
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
 is a common phenomenon existing these days which creates an enormous impact on individuals’ lives.
However
Linking Words
, being a harmful obstacle or a potential opportunity for change depends on how people perceive and compromise with it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction Clarity
Ensure that your introduction explicitly outlines your stance on the topic. It's important to state whether you believe the advantages or disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh each other, which will set a clear direction for your essay.
Supporting Examples
When discussing the negatives of peer pressure, provide clear examples and expand on them to demonstrate your understanding and to solidify your argument.
Logical Structure
Maintain a consistent format throughout your essay for introductions, body paragraphs, and conclusions. It helps the reader to follow your line of reasoning more clearly.
Argument Development
Work to deepen your argument by exploring the nuances of the topic, which will show a higher level of critical thinking and engagement with the subject matter.
Lexical Resource
While you've used an appropriate range of vocabulary, continue to focus on using less common and more precise words to articulate your ideas. This diversification can help achieve a higher score in lexical resource.
Sentence Structure
Be cautious with overly long sentences as they can sometimes make your points less clear. Aim for a balance between simple and complex structures for coherence and to showcase your grammatical range.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: