Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
It is debatable whether experiencing
peer
pressure
would empower individuals in a healthy way or their performance under it would be degraded. Despite the strong opinion stating that overcoming peer
pressure
is necessary, I believe that under some circumstances, that kind of pressure
would turn into a toxic factor affecting people’s lives.
To begin
with, dealing with peer
pressure
can mean squeezing oneself into a framework, limiting their ability to grow. If someone is suffering from peer
pressure
, there is a high chance they are trying hard to catch up with others. However
, everyone is unique in their own way, having their own pace, talents, and hobbies. Thus
, chasing after someone else’s success is a waste of time. Instead
, they should focus on their own selves and strive for self-development, and personal growth. For instance
, some kids are told to become doctors or other academic professional fields. Growing up witnessing and being compared with successful relatives, this
young generation is likely to pursue a wrong path that is
against their will, wasting dreams, and gifted abilities such
as drawing, composing music, etc.
In contrast
, the reason for the positivity towards peer
pressure
is its hidden chance of turning into a great motivation. There are no such
faults in striving for a better self. People who can transform pressure
into the courage to explore new things, seek knowledge,
and take risks to process the characteristics of being successful. A relatable example is that if someone is insecure about their appearance, suffering Remove the comma
apply
peer
pressure
from good-looking celebrities, and models, then
, they will put themselves into a disciplined healthy diet, and lifestyle. They successfully achieve their goal.
To conclude
, peer
pressure
is a common phenomenon existing these days which creates an enormous impact on individuals’ lives. However
, being a harmful obstacle or a potential opportunity for change depends on how people perceive and compromise with it.Submitted by phamhoangminhthu24 on
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Introduction Clarity
Ensure that your introduction explicitly outlines your stance on the topic. It's important to state whether you believe the advantages or disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh each other, which will set a clear direction for your essay.
Supporting Examples
When discussing the negatives of peer pressure, provide clear examples and expand on them to demonstrate your understanding and to solidify your argument.
Logical Structure
Maintain a consistent format throughout your essay for introductions, body paragraphs, and conclusions. It helps the reader to follow your line of reasoning more clearly.
Argument Development
Work to deepen your argument by exploring the nuances of the topic, which will show a higher level of critical thinking and engagement with the subject matter.
Lexical Resource
While you've used an appropriate range of vocabulary, continue to focus on using less common and more precise words to articulate your ideas. This diversification can help achieve a higher score in lexical resource.
Sentence Structure
Be cautious with overly long sentences as they can sometimes make your points less clear. Aim for a balance between simple and complex structures for coherence and to showcase your grammatical range.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...