Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the contemporary era,
with
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apply
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many scientific advancements improved human living standard,
however
,
this
also
make
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makes
show examples
people stuck in the financial rat race
due to
industrialization. The financial pressure before and
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
retirement
Correct article usage
the retirement
show examples
period makes the elderly feel awful.
However
, I firmly believe that life for the elderly has never been better than now,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
I will explain
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
in the following essay. Nowadays, the more effort they put in to escape
Add an article
the wellbeing
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wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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rat race to have
luxurious
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a luxurious
show examples
life, the worsening they encounter in
mental
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the mental
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aspect.
This
becomes important for
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
due to
they have to deal with
retirement
ages as
those
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
have more time and little
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
income, so the financial
retirement
plan ahead is critical. In their pursuit of success, reputation and fame, they have crammed
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
to complete, which take them from their life, damaging fragile relationships.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, with information technology advances, they can keep in touch with their relationship through social message
platform
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platforms
show examples
including video
call
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calls
show examples
or
sending
Verb problem
apply
show examples
text
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
. So, people have more
oppoturnities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
to connect, share
interest
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interests
show examples
and express
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
with the same wavelength in
digital
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the digital
a digital
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community.
Nevertheless
, these
advance
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advances
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also
allow them to access streaming services with Netflix as an example, which provide
diversity
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diverse
show examples
genre
contents
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content
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from TV shows, film series or documentary materials. Clearly,
with
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apply
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the development in some decade recently showed the improvement in
nursing
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a nursing
the nursing
show examples
home with modern facilities
such
as indoor swimming pool and the
popular
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popularity
show examples
of gentle exercise,
this
action
strengthen
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strengthens
show examples
connection
Add an article
the connection
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between
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
facilities. Senior
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
also
create some local community
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
a way to deal with more time in
retirement
Correct pronoun usage
their retirement
show examples
period and participate in offline events of digital
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
they love. It is undeniable that there are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
note worthy
Add a hyphen
note-worthy
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health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
services with affordable
price
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prices
show examples
, which enhance
living
Add an article
the living
show examples
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
. In conclusion, despite the financial pressure before
retirement
age,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
senior
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
are received better living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
both material and spiritual
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
, as they have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to connect with relatives and like-minded
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
and
harmony
Replace the word
harmonious
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
with others in
nursing
Add an article
a nursing
show examples
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
.
Last
but not least, they
also
received better health care services.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly
  • modern world
  • decline
  • physical
  • mental health
  • diseases
  • disabilities
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • access
  • healthcare
  • medications
  • lifelong learning
  • personal growth
  • social support
  • community engagement
  • positive aspects
  • negative aspects
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