Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In the contemporary era,
with
many scientific advancements improved human living standard, Change preposition
apply
however
, this
also
make
people stuck in the financial rat race Change the verb form
makes
due to
industrialization. The financial pressure before and in
Change preposition
during
retirement
period makes the elderly feel awful. Correct article usage
the retirement
However
, I firmly believe that life for the elderly has never been better than now, which
I will explain Correct word choice
and
reasons
in the following essay.
Nowadays, the more effort they put in to escape Correct article usage
the reasons
Add an article
the wellbeing
wellbeing
rat race to have Correct your spelling
well-being
luxurious
life, the worsening they encounter in Add an article
a luxurious
mental
aspect. Add an article
the mental
This
becomes important for elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
due to
they have to deal with retirement
ages as those
have more time and little Correct pronoun usage
they
finance
income, so the financial Replace the word
financial
retirement
plan ahead is critical. In their pursuit of success, reputation and fame, they have crammed schedule
to complete, which take them from their life, damaging fragile relationships.
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
Although
, with information technology advances, they can keep in touch with their relationship through social message Correct word choice
However
platform
including video Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
call
or Fix the agreement mistake
calls
sending
text Verb problem
apply
contents
. So, people have more Fix the agreement mistake
content
oppoturnities
to connect, share Correct your spelling
opportunities
interest
and express Fix the agreement mistake
interests
yourself
with the same wavelength in Correct pronoun usage
themselves
digital
community. Add an article
the digital
a digital
Nevertheless
, these advance
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
also
allow them to access streaming services with Netflix as an example, which provide diversity
genre Replace the word
diverse
contents
from TV shows, film series or documentary materials.
Clearly, Fix the agreement mistake
content
with
the development in some decade recently showed the improvement in Change preposition
apply
nursing
home with modern facilities Add an article
a nursing
the nursing
such
as indoor swimming pool and the popular
of gentle exercise, Replace the word
popularity
this
action strengthen
Change the verb form
strengthens
connection
between Add an article
the connection
elderly
in Correct article usage
the elderly
this
facilities. Senior Correct determiner usage
these
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
also
create some local community project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
in
a way to deal with more time in Change preposition
as
retirement
period and participate in offline events of digital Correct pronoun usage
their retirement
group
they love. It is undeniable that there are Fix the agreement mistake
groups
the
better Correct article usage
apply
note worthy
Add a hyphen
note-worthy
health care
services with affordable Correct your spelling
healthcare
price
, which enhance Fix the agreement mistake
prices
living
Add an article
the living
standard
.
In conclusion, despite the financial pressure before Fix the agreement mistake
standards
retirement
age, but
senior Correct word choice
apply
citizen
are received better living Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
form
both material and spiritual Correct your spelling
from
aspect
, as they have Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
ability
to connect with relatives and like-minded Change the article
the ability
group
and Fix the agreement mistake
groups
harmony
Replace the word
harmonious
relationship
with others in Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
nursing
Add an article
a nursing
facility
. Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
Last
but not least, they also
received better health care services.Submitted by lenam2k1 on
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.