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Obesity is increasing in many developing countries affecting the children. What are some possible reasons for this and suggest possible solutions

#obesity #countries #children
It has been observed that there is a dramatic rise in children's weight in many developing countries ,for several causes , a lack
in
Change preposition
of
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 sports ,junk
food
 , and lifestyle. solution has been identified for
this
 problem . beginning,the main reason for
this
 unhealthy issue is fast
food
 stance McDonald's ,
then
 ,
secondly
 , Practicing sedentary activities watching television , playing computer games ,or spending time with a smartphone ,
Furthermore
 , that can make children lazy and overweight without the actions
Moreover
, the school does not have more classes focusing on exercise,
,,
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apply
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Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
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 the curriculum does not include healthy
food
 and the way of good nutrition , To solve
this
 problem there are measures being taken to curb
this
 , the one point is the government should stop the restaurant with junk
food
 , and striped it to have healthy nutrition ,
Also
, the parents should have time to prepare healthy meals that include fruit and vegetables, Meanwhile, the school should do many extra sports exercises and classes
for
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on
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 the importance of health.example, the USA
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
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To conclude
,
this
 issue is a personability for all people in society to build a good generation from school and family part and parcel , to help wards to be in a good health by the solution
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mention in the up.
Submitted by Ssaraan2017 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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