Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

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Admittedly, old buildings have historical and cultural

value

Use synonyms

, protected by legal regulations.

However

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, some opponents believe these architectures should be converted into a commercial type of property. From my perspective, I insist that all

facilities

Use synonyms

should be preserved.

To begin

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with, it is undeniable that the historical and cultural

value

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of the complexes.

Initially

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, the historical

value

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of the vintage

facilities

Use synonyms

lies in the materials used in constructing these buildings, lasting over time,

while

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the cultural

value

Use synonyms

was reflected in its architectural designs and all sacred customs conducted.

Hence

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, some cultural events were imparted from generation to generation, showing the diversity of culture and the deep of history.

Additionally

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, there are many architectural styles over time that reflect the aesthetic abilities of mankind and the technology in materials and construction methods mirror the level of scientific advancements in these civilizations. Operating sacred events in these infrastructures could cover partially the maintenance fees for these amenities, allowing the descendants to know their identity and provoking their national pride.

For instance

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, Conducting The Hung Vuong Festival in the remaining ancient

facilities

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to remind the descendants about the sacrificing of their ancestors for the peace and independence of their nation, which teaches people a useful historical lesson.

Nevertheless

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, opponents now pay attention to financial returns, so they believe that some unnecessary old complexes replaced by new ones.

In particular

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, with population explosion at an alarming rate and urbanization accelerating, space is needed to meet commercial profitability activities.

Therefore

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, converting old amenities into shophouses was a preferential idea for some citizens. Modernized

facilities

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can be better used to promote economic development and bring a fresh life for citizens.

For example

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, more fashion shophouses,

such

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as Lily stores in Hanoi, Vietnam, attract many tourists because of their stylist's outstanding.

To conclude

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, old buildings play an important role in sustaining the cultural and traditional values of a nation, so these infrastructures should be protected. Old shabby amenities cannot draw foreign tourism, so renovating

this

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into a shophouse to meet commercial activities and promote economic development.

lenam2k1Sat Sep 16 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Your introduction is clear, but it could be more engaging to better grab the reader’s attention. Also, the thesis statement could be more definitive.

logical structure

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, effectively organizing ideas into distinct paragraphs. However, transitions between paragraphs are sometimes abrupt. Improve the flow by using connecting phrases to smoothly transition from one idea to the next.

logical structure

Try to avoid repetitive phrases such as 'historical and cultural value' and 'facilities.' Using synonyms or rephrasing can make your essay more engaging.

clear comprehensive ideas

You clearly support your points with relevant examples, but the elaboration of your ideas needs more depth. Expanding on why the preservation of old buildings is important would enhance the overall clarity.

relevant specific examples

While your examples are relevant, they could be more specific. Naming particular historical buildings and their contributions to culture and history could strengthen your argument.

complete response

Your essay addresses all parts of the task. You discuss both the importance of old buildings and the opposing viewpoint, providing a balanced perspective.

introduction conclusion present

You have a strong conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your thesis.

supported main points

Your main points are well-supported with examples, making your arguments stronger and more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural heritage
Tangible connections
Insight
Historic buildings
Architectural significance
Environmental impact
Resource consumption
Community identity
Character
Distinct
Preservation
Revenue
Tourists
Demolishing
Constructing
Replicated
Unique styles
Local businesses
Significant revenue
Historical value

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Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

Your opinion

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?