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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?

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Globally, the way
people
Use synonyms
 live has changed drastically, affecting families and relationships. As far as I am concerned,
due to
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 modern technology, interactions between members of the family have become more convenient, as has the search for random information on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. I believe
this
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 advantage outweighs any cons out there. Two of the major benefits technology contributes to
people
Use synonyms
's lives nowadays are convenience and ease of communication, despite the distance. With just a flick of a finger, an individual may search for things they are curious about,
such
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 as a recipe for certain foods or even detailed directions to a particular location. All these are easier to navigate courtesy of the advancement of technologies, which
also
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 helped in closing the virtual gap between families in terms of interactions, especially for those who live apart from each other. Messaging applications
such
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 as Messenger and WhatsApp have made it more cost-effective to have a video chat with someone from another country compared to past years.
Therefore
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, it strengthens their bond even though they are in different locations.
On the other hand
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, processed foods are now popular among parents who are busy at work and cannot find time to cook home meals.
This
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 would relatively affect children whose parents resort to quick and easy purchases of fries and burgers. If
this
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 persists, a lot of individuals will suffer from various health conditions,
such
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 as obesity, which could result in cardiovascular disease.
Although
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this
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 can be prevented if proper meal planning is done during free time, a number of healthy ready-to-cook meal kits are now available on the market. In conclusion, one of the positives that was brought to
people
Use synonyms
's way of living was the technological advancement and how it improved the ease of access to communication and information with family.
In contrast
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, fast food is considered one of the causes of potential heart diseases in
people
Use synonyms
. It appears to me that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of
this
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 notion.

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task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the question asked. The introduction should clearly state if you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages without ambiguity. The body paragraphs should then discuss specific advantages and disadvantages related to family relationships rather than a general discussion on technology or fast food.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating a more cohesive argument by more clearly signposting your main points. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon.
task achievement
Ensure that all examples given are relevant to the question and support your argument about family relationships. Focus on providing specific examples that demonstrate how lifestyle changes have impacted family relationships for both the advantages and disadvantages.
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