The chart gives information abour migration to the UK. The chart shows how long immigrants in the years 2000-2008 intented to stay in the UK. And the pir chart shows reasons for migration in 2008.

#information #abour #migration #uk #immigrants #years #pir

The chart depicts information about migrants and emigrants in the United Kingdom measured in thousands of people in 10 periods between 1999 and 2008.

Overall

it is noticeable that the amount of immigrants is gradually increasing year by year

while

emigration fluctuated at

same

Add an article

the same

show examples

level and increased only in the

last

periods.

To begin

with, immigration was at the level of 450

thousand

in 1999 and gradually raised to 500

thousand

in 2002 and continued the increase,

as a result

reaching the peak of 0.6 million in 2006.

Furthermore

, in the next two

years

Add a comma

,years

show examples

the line illustrated a slight decrease compared to the previous one.

On the other hand

, amount of emigrants in the UK is as not high as the

quantity

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of immigrants. Starting the point with 300

thousand

, in fact

Add a comma

show examples

it is lower than the 150

thousand

of individuals compared to immigration. Fluctuating on that point 3 years, it slightly increased to 0.36 million.

However

, after years

Change preposition

show examples

fluctuations dramatic elevation peaked

its

Change preposition

at its

show examples

highest

points

Fix the agreement mistake

point

show examples

at 400

thousand

in 2006.

Moreover

, in 2008 the number of emigrants reached that point and slightly increased to 420.

Submitted by filwayy on Sun Sep 17 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words thousand with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.

▼

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

186 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart gives information abour migration to the UK. The chart shows how long immigrants in the years 2000-2008 intented to stay in the UK. And the pir chart shows reasons for migration in 2008.

With traffic jams and pollution increasing every year in big cities, some people say that public transport should be free in big cities to help reduce these problems which are caused by cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

The number of indigenous tribes living traditional lives in the world’s rainforests is decreasing. Within a few decades the last of these indigenous tribes may have disappeared forever. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

It is suggested that all young people should undertake a period of unpaid work to help people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the community and the young people ?