IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many people believe that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #road #safety #age #car #motorbike
Nowadays, a lot of
people
 think that the most effective method to protect roads from bad happenings
such
 as accidents is to increase the minimum age for taking a driving license. In
this
 essay, I will totally agree with
this
 idea.
Firstly
, I will explore the drawbacks of some hormones that influence teenagers driving, and
secondly
Add a comma
,secondly
show examples
 I will explain how adolescents do not know the seriousness of
life
. First of all,
people
 who are not mature have some hormones
such
 as adrenaline and testosterone intensely. When these hormones are used by human beings so much,
people
’s characters might be irresponsible and competitive. Being irresponsible and competitive in traffic is finished with
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 and death.
For instance
, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research about the relationship between testosterone and driving habits; testosterone affects
people
’s speed levels,
while
 they are driving, and they are more likely to seem in dangerous behaviours in traffic,
according to
 the study.
On the other hand
,
people
 have to be mature when they are controlling a car or motorbike. Unfortunately, adolescents do not know how
life
 is serious, because they do not have
life
 experience.
As a result
, they are racing in the streets without giving a care to others safety.
For example
, my old friend Hasan, who had no
life
 experience, drove his car over the speed limit, and when I told anything as attention to him, he said “Nothing happened.”, and he got
an
Change preposition
into an
show examples
 accident. In a nutshell, there are so many
people
 who want to improve the legal age for driving. I totally agree with
this
 statement, because teenagers do not have the features to drive safely.
Submitted by barisberkay97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: