IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #inventions #phones
Nobody ignore that
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
a big changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
big changes
a big change
show examples
 in the world, some people thinks
this
 is a good change to the world
while
 other believe the opposite so when
this
 to say, I'm doing to mention
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides, and I will write my opinion in conclusion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
technology
,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life easy
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
help
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
 us with communication and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 the world like a small village. We cannot stop using
technology
 every day because it's so helpful for us an example
that
Correct word choice
if
show examples
 you want to send a message or make a conversation
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a person that
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
show examples
 far away from us we just need
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 Internet and a WhatsApp message without
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to him.
On the other hand
, some people think that
technology
making
Verb problem
creates
show examples
 a problem with social interaction and
this
 is
is truth
Correct word choice
true
show examples
 an example of
this
 one, a family
live
Wrong verb form
living
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 in the same house, and they
messaging
Wrong verb form
message
show examples
 each other by WhatsApp without meeting each other and
this
 is a big problem for our community and it's affecting my people they just want to live alone without any communication. All in all,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a good and bad
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 using
technology
. the way I see it we are to change our routine
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 living with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 without
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
communication.
Submitted by imad.rashidx on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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