IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attractions
Many people suggest that cultural and historical attractions should have higher fees for foreign
visitors
 compared to local
visitors
. Personally, I disagree
apart
Rephrase
apply
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with
this
 statement
due to
 considering equally various factors.
To begin
 with, imposing more charges on overseas travellers is an unfair and shortsighted view. One of the reasons for
this
 is that foreigners contribute to the economy of the host
country
 by spending their money on a wide range of goods and services
such
 as food, accommodation and transportation.
For instance
,
tourists
 who visit other nation has to pay at least 6 per cent hotel tax per night per room
while
 locals are exempted from
this
.
Otherwise
, they would feel resentful and might decide not to visit the
country
 again.
Consequently
, it is more likely for the receiving
country
 to experience a decrease in the number of foreign
tourists
, which is detrimental to its economy.
Furthermore
, the host state always wants to show its hospitality and kindness to
visitors
,
together with
 promoting its culture,
while
visitors
 would like to have realistic experiences with local traditions. Visiting ancient places allows both parties including
tourists
 and residents, to get their goals.
However
, the higher entrance fee would discourage overseas travellers from making a visit and gaining insights into the local culture. Meanwhile, the host
country
 will lose an opportunity to introduce its customs to those
tourists
, not
yet
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to mention the unfriendliness caused by the different pricing. If
this
 happened for a long time, the state would gradually lose world
tourists
. In conclusion, I believe that foreign
tourists
 should be treated fairly in terms of travel fees, just like local residents.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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lexical resource
Develop your vocabulary to include more varied and precise language. Also, pay attention to collocations and word choice to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider range of sentence structures to demonstrate a more flexible and accurate use of grammar.
task response
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly address the topic and summarize your main points. Additionally, use more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Focus on the logical progression of ideas within paragraphs and across the essay. Use cohesive devices and transition words to improve coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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