IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

many people think that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise. What is your opinion?

#people #food #companies
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AT PRESENT TIME NOMEROUS FOLKS
THOUGHT
Wrong verb form
THINK
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 THAT IT IS BETTER TO NOT PERMISSION FOR COMPANIES TO
ADVERTISEING
Correct your spelling
ADVERTISING
. IN MY OPINION, IS
ABSOLUTLY
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ABSOLUTELY
 AGREE WITH
THIS
Linking Words
 STATEMENT. I WILL EXPLAIN MY
VIEW POINTS
Correct your spelling
VIEWPOINTS
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 IN DETAIL IN THE ENSUING PARAGRAPH.
FIRSTLY
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, JUNK
FOOD
Use synonyms
 IS
CRUCIAL
Correct article usage
A CRUCIAL
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 ISSUE GLOBALLY, ONE OF THE
MOST
Correct word choice
BIGGEST
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 TROUBLE THAT CAN WE FACE IN THESE DAYS, WHEN CHILDREN
ATTRACTED
Add a missing verb
ARE ATTRACTED
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 TO
THIS
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 TYPE OF
FOOD
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 WHICH HAVE NOT BASIC NUTRIENT,
HENCE
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 AFFECTING ON THEIR HEALTH, BY
MAKING
Verb problem
CREATING
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 HIGH PRESSURE, AND OVER WIGHT, AS RESULT AS HIGH BLOOD SUGAR.
Linking Words
LAST
Change preposition
ACCORDING TO LAST
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RESERCH
Correct your spelling
RESEARCH
 BY DOCTORS, JUNK
FOOD
Use synonyms
 CAN BE
TOOL
Correct article usage
A TOOL
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 OF
INCREASEING
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INCREASING
 SUGAR
40
Change preposition
BY 40
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%.
SECONDLY
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, THE STRICTNESS PROVISIONS SHOULD BE APPLIED TO MAKE SURE WE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN,
MOREOVER
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, SUSTAIN THEIR
HELTHY
Correct your spelling
HEALTH
 IS OUR
RESBONSIBILTY
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RESPONSIBILITY
,
THEREFORE
Linking Words
, WE HAVE TO REPLACE
THIS
Linking Words
 TYPE OF
FOOD
Use synonyms
BY
Change preposition
WITH
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HELTHY
Correct your spelling
HEALTH
 THAT CONTAIN THE MAIN NUTRIENT FOR KIDS. IN
CONCLUDE
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CONCLUSION
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,
MAINTAINE
Correct your spelling
MAINTAINING
Correct article usage
A HEALTH
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HEALTH
Replace the word
HEALTHY
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 WEIGHT AND SUGAR FOR MOST KIDS IN OUR WORLD IS IMPORTANT THAT WE HAVE TO WORK FOR.
Submitted by mhoos.211 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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