IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010.

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010.
#percentage #population #uk #amount #fruit #vegetables
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Linking Words
According to the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 bar chart,
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows the
overall
Linking Words
 population in the United Kingdom , who is instructed to consume fruit and vegetables
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
baseies
Correct your spelling
basis
bases
. In the
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2002, 2006 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the chart
illustartes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 peoples (
men
Use synonyms
, women, children), who is recommended to consume fruit and
vegitablen
Correct your spelling
vegetables
vegetable
 in three years. At the beginning, of 2002 women
consumes
Change the verb form
consume
show examples
 more healthy foods rather than
men
Use synonyms
 and children,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same
year
Use synonyms
 the second highest
presentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 is
men
Use synonyms
, they are the ones
how
Correct word choice
who
show examples
Add the particle
to capture
show examples
capture
Wrong verb form
captured
show examples
 the second most
pacle
Correct your spelling
pace
 in
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 and
finaly
Correct your spelling
finally
 the
last
Linking Words
 place goes to children because they prefer junk foods compared to good ones.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, women are the ones , who are more likely to eat
healthy
Change the word
healthily
show examples
 in all three years and the highest
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of 32 lies in the
year
Use synonyms
 2006 . The recommended fruit and veg
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
men
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 high in the
year
Use synonyms
 2006 and it reduced to 24 % in 2010 ,
Linking Words
Likewise
Add a comma
,Likewise
show examples
 the
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 are
steping
Correct your spelling
stepping
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 good habit day by day and their progress
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
16% in 2006 and it slightly
skrink
Correct your spelling
shrink
skink
 in 2010 by 14%.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, men with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: