IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things.

#space #exploration #money
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that , since the expenses involved in
space
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 exploration is very high, that
money
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 can be utilised to improve the life of
people
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 on
Earth
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.I too agree with that view, because that
money
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 can be used to eliminate many socio-environmental
problems
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 on
earth
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such
Linking Words
 as
poverty
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 and CO2 emission which limit the well-being of mankind. On the one hand,
poverty
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 has become one of the crucial
problems
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 that the world experiences
due to
Linking Words
 the ineffective allocation of resources. It limits
people
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 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 their basic necessities. If the wealthy countries who spend millions of
money
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 on exploring planets can allocate those budgets to
projects
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 to eradicate
poverty
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 in the world, it would bring more benefits to humanity than
space
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 travel.
For instance
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 ,
Although
Linking Words
 India spends millions of rupees on
space
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 exploration, the vast majority of
people
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 in that country suffer from hunger,
poverty
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, and many socio-cultural
problems
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the entire mankind on
earth
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 is in big danger
due to
Linking Words
 the high carbon footprint the
earth
Use synonyms
 produces.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is crucial to find possible solutions to decrease the emission of CO2 to eliminate the potential environmental
problems
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 caused by the
house
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greenhouse
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 gas effect. If the
money
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 allocated for
space
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 and planet-related
projects
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 can be used to research and development
projects
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 in the environment that would be more beneficial for humans to have a better life. As an example, many universities lack funding for research on climate change and call for donations to fund their
projects
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. In conclusion, wealthy countries allocate a huge portion of their budget to
space
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 exploration.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees that utilizing that
money
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 on the well-being of
people
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 would be beneficial as the world is suffering from many socio-environmental
problems
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such
Linking Words
 as
poverty
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 and climate change.
Submitted by nir.paba6 on

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task response
Ensure a clear position on the topic is stated in the introduction and reaffirmed in the conclusion. Use linking words and transition phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion in the organization of ideas but lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on providing a more structured flow of ideas using appropriate linking words and cohesive devices.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exorbitant
  • myriad
  • pressing issues
  • allocated
  • advances
  • direct results
  • pave the way
  • uninhabitable
  • inspirational aspects
  • fuels innovation
  • shared goal
  • intellectual capital
  • budget overruns
  • tangible benefits
  • rationale
  • dedicating
  • returns on investment
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