IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
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There is no doubt that accommodation is one of the most crucial issues in societies. Whilst proponents hold the view that possessing a house is much more beneficial than renting one for psychological and social reasons, opponents have a diverse perspective. I am of the belief that renting properties can play an essential role in the growth of
economy
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the economy
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.
To begin
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 with, many
people
Use synonyms
 have a high tendency to buy properties
instead
Linking Words
 of renting them for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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psychological
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, if an individual buys his residence, it will give him a sense of ownership and security. A prime example is Egyptian
people
Use synonyms
 who allocate a high proportion of their budget to purchase a flat. Another reason is marriage which encourages the youth to buy houses rather than renting
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
This
Linking Words
 example shows that many young
people
Use synonyms
 consider possessing a residential property as a target not just a
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
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 for living.
However
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, purchasing houses may pose a threat to citizens, and it has a detrimental effect on
economy
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the economy
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. To explain, when many individuals invest only in the real state market, it may lead to an economic recession.
For example
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,
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
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 countries
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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prioritize investment in
housing
Correct article usage
the housing
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 industry only,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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 they neglect other industries
such
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 as education, healthcare and tourism.
Hence
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, what can be said is that authorities should channel more funds into beneficial projects which are quite instrumental in developing the economy in the future. In conclusion,
after
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this
Linking Words
 essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that there are many causes why many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to
possessing
Wrong verb form
possess
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 a home to
renting
Change the verb form
rent
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 one. I am convinced that funding
housing
Correct article usage
the housing
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 industry only may lead to many
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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 issues
on
Change preposition
in
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 the long run.
Submitted by drislam999 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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