The Graph Below Shows The Average Number Of Vietnamese Students Studying In France, America And Russia Between 2000 And 2015

The Graph Below Shows The Average Number Of Vietnamese Students Studying In France, America And Russia Between 2000 And 2015
The line graph provides information about the average
number
of
Vietnamese
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
studying in four countries (
France
,
Germany
, the US and
Canada
) from 2000 to 2015.
Overall
,
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the average
number
of
Vietnamese
student studying in four countries were upward trend. The US and
Canada
are
two
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
the biggest change.
France
and
Germany
were
fluctuation
Replace the word
fluctuating
show examples
.
Two
countries
considerable
Change preposition
with considerable
show examples
rise are the US and
Canada
,
there
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
started from under a million, but there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
different increases. The US
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
grew. It increased from under a
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
to five
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
increased
Verb problem
apply
show examples
almost
to reach
Change the verb form
reaching
show examples
a peak from 2000 to 2015.
Canada
gradual
Change the word
gradually
show examples
rose, it
also
climbed from under
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a million
millions
show examples
millions
but only to
two
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
between 2000 and 2015. The
remaning
Correct your spelling
remaining
two
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
France
and
Germany
fluctuated.
France
, it rose from 2010 to 2015
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
approximately 4,5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
although
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
slightly from 2000 to 2010.
Germany
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
was growth
Verb problem
grew
show examples
from 2010 to 2015 but only climbed to approximately 2,5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
and gradually
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
between 2000 and 2010. The average
number
of
Vietnamese
students studying in the US accounts for the highest percentage with nearly reaching the peak and the average
number
of
Vietnamese
students studying in
Canada
accounts for the lowest percentage with 2 million students.
Submitted by huaishang90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, vietnamese, france, germany, canada, two, millions with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: