More and more young people are using drugs and alcohol these days. What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions?
Nowadays the number of adolescents who are consuming
drugs
and ethanol is increasing. This
essay suggests that the main root causes of these phenomena are being in the trend
which is going on among young people
and depression, and submit that parents
and organizations should encourage healthy lifestyles are
main solutions.
The primary causes of Change preposition
as are
this
trend
are the trend
going on in social media and their depression. There are a lot of groups and communities in social apps such
as TikTok , and Instagram where people
take this
dark lifestyle as "aesthetic" and share it through users. Teenagers who are always ready to be in trend
take up this
"aesthetic".Furthermore
, young people
consume those things because it helps them forget about their life which is falling apart.When they are depressed and feel down they drink
and consume drugs
and for a considerable amount of time they can forget about it. For example
, a survey from Russia shows that 64% per cent of adolescents used drugs
and drink
because they were stressed and depressed and they had no one to rely on.
The possible solutions to this
problem would be parents
teaching their offspring about the bad effects of alcohol and drugs
, and the communities spreading wellness among younger
generation. From a young age, children take their Add an article
the younger
parents
as their role models and their opinions and interests in certain things come from their role models. If parents
are more responsible for this
and teach them right, the number of teenagers using drugs
will decrease.
Also
, there are many communities which are responsible for the health of society. But they encourage healthy activities in real life forgetting about the things are
going on in social apps.If they are more active in social format too , it would have positive effects.Correct pronoun usage
that are
For example
, there is a page on Instagram weareurban
, which encourages a healthy lifestyle and reminds young Correct your spelling
were urban
people
that "it's okay not to be okay" and you don't have to drink
for that.
In conclusion, adolescents take drugs
and drink
alcohol because of social media trends and depression; however
,if parents
nurture their offspring by always reminding them that it has a bad effect on health and associations which are responsible for health will take care of young people
in social media too, it would be solved.Submitted by forcookiearu on
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coherence cohesion
Focus on developing a clear logical structure by arranging ideas in a more systematic manner. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful by clearly stating the essay's argument and summarising the main points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed and developed examples. Expand on the causes and solutions by giving more in-depth explanations.
task achievement
The response is complete, but ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed. Cover both causes and solutions equally.
task achievement
Ideas are clear, but they need to be expressed more comprehensively. Aim for depth over breadth, providing a full exploration of fewer points rather than a surface treatment of many.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to back up your points. Use real-world instances or data to strengthen your arguments where possible.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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