IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In most countries, individuals have to pay for medical treatment
however
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, others believe that it must be free of charge from the
government
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 and provide their
people
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 with the best of
health
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 care. It is good to facilitate the
people
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 and consider their
health
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 as the first priority but doing so may
also
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 lead many governments to face financial crises. I will discuss all these in my essay below.
Firstly
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, many countries have a rule to pay for their
health
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 if they get ill. It is good if they are contributing to their
health
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 because some of the countries are not in good financial conditions so
along with
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health
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 they
also
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 have to look upon other sectors
also
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 like education, agriculture and many more. If they pay some amounts and reduce the burden benefits both citizens and the country. They will be safe from many other problems as well.
On the other hand
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, many argue that it is the responsibility of the
government
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 to provide them with the best healthcare services. Their point of view is
also
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 right because it is un unaffordable for many individuals to pay the full amount they even have money to eat. So, how it is possible for them to pay for the treatment? They are right but they do not know about the other's needs which their
government
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 is providing them like other necessities like gas, and water if they
also
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 start paying for
this
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people
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 become lazy and fully depend on the
government
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 for their work.
Therefore
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, it is not a matter of a single sector it must be happening in a group or teamwork. In conclusion,
although
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 it is good if the
government
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 is paying for
health
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 if
people
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 are paying for themselves it is not harmful. It is a combined effort from both the individuals and the ministry to improve the status of their country by providing them with the best of all. So, in my opinion, if
people
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 are paying it is of no harm.

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Task Response
Maintain a clear stance throughout your essay to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples or data to support your points for an even more compelling argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Vary your sentence structures and use transitions more dynamically to enhance readability.
Task Achievement
You've provided a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument, which enriches your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your essay and summarizing your viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've logically structured your paragraphs, with each one focusing on a specific point related to the main topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
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