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Writing Samples
Band 6

Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular What effects does its increase in popularity have on individual and on society?

#leisure #activity #people #effects #popularity #society
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Nowadays with the
increase
 in development, shopping has gained popularity and acts as a medium of amusement. In
this
 essay, we are going to discuss the possible reasons
along with
 the benefits and demerits on a
nation
 and an individual person. Shopping is popular because it acts as a medium to socialize. Many people wait for seasonal discounts and plan their shopping in a group which helps them
exchanging
Wrong verb form
exchange
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge about the latest trends prevalent in the market. Another reason would be, a gain in self-esteem. Nowadays, people are earning more money which leads to access to internationally branded clothes, resulting in an
increase
 in confidence.
For instance
, As per a report published by a popular brand
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Europe, During festival season, their monthly sales skyrocketed to fifty per cent. The growth in the popularity of shopping leads to an
increase
 in the economy of the country and has a positive effect on society. An
increase
 in spending of an individual leads to an
increase
 in demand for the products and to cater
it
Change preposition
for it
show examples
, numerous competitive job opportunities are created in the market. Another negative effect is an
increase
 in
overall
debt
, with the ease in availability of money from credit cards in the form of unsecured loans people get addicted to overspending which leads to an
increase
 in the
overall
debt
 of a
nation
.
For example
, eighty percent population of a leading developed
nation
 have a credit card
debt
 of a minimum of ten thousand dollars and by 2025 it will be doubled. In conclusion, shopping has gained popularity because it acts as a medium to socialize and increases the self-esteem of an individual.
Nevertheless
, it leads to numerous merits
as well as
 demerits like an
increase
 in the economy and
overall
debt
 of a
nation
.
Submitted by sharma.ajaykumar2309 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
In the essay, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea which is expanded upon with specific details and examples, to improve the support for your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop arguments cohesively, making logical connections between ideas clear and explicit, utilizing a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the essay's flow.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the prompt, showing a complete understanding of the question by adding more depth to the explanation of why shopping is popular and its effects.
Task Achievement
Expand upon key points with more comprehensive explanations and relevant examples, to provide a thorough exploration of both the positive and negative aspects outlined in the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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