IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
#maps #show #changes #place #queen #mary #construction
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The maps below presented the developments, which took place at Queen Mary Hospital over the years since 1960. Generally, the hospital had changed a lot during the four decades of
19th
Correct article usage
the 19th
show examples
 century from one building to the whole complex.
Additionally
Linking Words
, every 20 years there were changes in the plan, starting with
cancer
Add an article
a cancer
the cancer
show examples
centre
Use synonyms
, pharmacy and nursing
school
Use synonyms
, which were not part of the institution. In 1960 the hospital had only one building,
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 park on its back side and a shopping
centre
Use synonyms
 and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
farmland on the left side.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 after 20 years there were significant changes which
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to
shopping
Add an article
the shopping
show examples
centre
Use synonyms
was
Replace the word
being
show examples
 demolished and replaced by
cancer
Correct article usage
a cancer
show examples
centre
Use synonyms
, and
nursing
Correct article usage
a nursing
show examples
school
Use synonyms
was
Replace the word
being
show examples
 opened taking
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 of
farmland
Correct article usage
the farmland
show examples
. Meanwhile, the hospital was expanded integrating with pharmacy. At the beginning of the 20th century structure was changed slightly. The cancer
centre
Use synonyms
 extended by taking
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 of
nursing
Correct article usage
the nursing
show examples
school
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
nursing
Correct article usage
the nursing
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 has reduced its area
like
Change preposition
to
show examples
car
Add an article
a car
show examples
 park.
However
Linking Words
, the hospital did not
changed
Change the verb form
change
show examples
 at all.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words centre, school with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 5 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: