IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic,commercial and social perspective. What are the causes of these pressuers and what meassures shold be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #perspective #pressuers #meassures #shold
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children
Use synonyms
 in the new generation are likely to be in a severely stressed background in several aspects
such
Linking Words
 as learning, economic and social etcetera.
However
Linking Words
, some of the situations can be avoided to mitigate the bad effects on them. Through
this
Linking Words
 essay, hope to discuss the matter and measures that can be taken to avoid the effects.
Firstly
Linking Words
, most of them are under huge pressure in their academic environment, as now they have to compete globally, not only with the next door or with
children
Use synonyms
 in the same area or country.
Parents
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 pull them into the competition and expect success, which they were not able to achieve in their childhood. When moving with peer groups,
children
Use synonyms
 always try to compare themselves with others . Most of the teenage students have luxury devices.
For instance
Linking Words
, they may have smartphones, tablets, and comfortable vehicles. Those who are not able to get those things, feel less comfortable moving with same-age students and they may tend to argue with their
parents
Use synonyms
 and try to obtain those things even if they suffering from economic matters. For example, one of my cousin's daughters refused to go to school and the reason that they did not have a car even other friends had.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 should teach their
children
Use synonyms
 to live with what they have. Not only that
children
Use synonyms
 should be aware of
parents
Use synonyms
' economic capacity.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, conflicts can occur between
children
Use synonyms
 and
parents
Use synonyms
. Teachers are the other ones to guide students properly and should teach them to face, win humbly and lose with grace. Helping hand for others is an excellent quality person and
children
Use synonyms
 have to practice it from a small age. Both
parents
Use synonyms
 and teachers should expect reliable and possible things only from the
children
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, now
children
Use synonyms
 are in a huge stressful mind in most of the aspects
such
Linking Words
 as academic, commercial and social.
Parents
Use synonyms
 and teachers are the onus to minimize the bad effects on them.
Submitted by laksrijayashan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: