the diagram below shows the manufactring process for making sugar from sugar cane.

the diagram below shows the manufactring process for making sugar from sugar cane.
The given diagram provides information about the various stages
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
of
sugar
from
sugar
can
Fix the agreement mistake
cans
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.
Overall
, the process consists of seven stages, beginning with
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
of
sugar
canes and ending with
drying
Correct article usage
the drying
show examples
and cooling of
sugar
. First of all, about 12
16
Change preposition
to 16
show examples
months
needs
Wrong verb form
are needed
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to
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
sugar
cans
in
Change preposition
on
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a farmland,
then
, they should harvest which can be done manually or by a harvesting machine. After that, collected
sugar
canes are poured into a machine for crushing and a juice will be produced. The next stage is purifying juice
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
a limestone filter is used in
this
regard.
Next,
it is heated in an evaporator to make syrup from
evaporation
Add an article
the evaporation
show examples
of juice.
Following
this
,
sugar
crystals are separated from syrups by a centrifuge.
Finally
, with drying and cooling sugars the final
sugar
is produced.
Submitted by mhshid on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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