IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the diagram below shows the manufactring process for making sugar from sugar cane.

the diagram below shows the manufactring process for making sugar from sugar cane.
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The given diagram provides information about the various stages
for
Change preposition
of
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production
Add an article
the production
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 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 from
sugar
Use synonyms
can
Fix the agreement mistake
cans
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process consists of seven stages, beginning with
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
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 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 canes and ending with
drying
Correct article usage
the drying
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 and cooling of
sugar
Use synonyms
. First of all, about 12
16
Change preposition
to 16
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 months
needs
Wrong verb form
are needed
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 to
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
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sugar
Use synonyms
 cans
in
Change preposition
on
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 a farmland,
then
Linking Words
, they should harvest which can be done manually or by a harvesting machine. After that, collected
sugar
Use synonyms
 canes are poured into a machine for crushing and a juice will be produced. The next stage is purifying juice
that
Correct word choice
and
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 a limestone filter is used in
this
Linking Words
 regard.
Next,
Linking Words
it is heated in an evaporator to make syrup from
evaporation
Add an article
the evaporation
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 of juice.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals are separated from syrups by a centrifuge.
Finally
Linking Words
, with drying and cooling sugars the final
sugar
Use synonyms
 is produced.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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