one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the diadvantages.

Since the development of medical

care

Use synonyms

and medical equipment,

people

Use synonyms

thought about the outcome of life expectancy. Nowadays,

this

Linking Words

topic is more significant than ever as the advancement in technology is multiplying, year by year, the life span.

It is clear that

Linking Words

there are benefits and drawbacks. In fact, there are lots of advantages for seniors,

such

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as enjoying their retirement and having free time to take

care

Use synonyms

of their grandchildren, which is beneficial for them, as they can gain wisdom from their grandparents.

Whereas

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, older

people

Use synonyms

are more likely to get sick and hinder the health

care

Use synonyms

system, especially in countries where it is paid by the citizens.

However

Linking Words

, the rise in life expectancy means that nurses and caregivers are more requested in order to help older

people

Use synonyms

It is clear that

Linking Words

creating new jobs is the essence of a florid country,

however

Linking Words

, the generational turnover is relevant to leave space for young

people

Use synonyms

to grow and build a family on their own.

Moreover

Linking Words

, more patients in hospitals to pay for is a reason why taxes are getting higher.

Thus

Linking Words

, higher charge is becoming harder to support for families,

furthermore

Linking Words

this

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led the government to raise the retirement age in order to get more

people

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to pay taxes.

For

Linking Words

this

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reason, I believe that the development of the technology of medical equipment should be compensated by a new arrangement in the pension system. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that, in

this

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scenario, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, as long as the government is responsible for updating the reforms since the progress in medical

care

Use synonyms

is not ending.

As a result

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, the government should rethink laws and reforms in order to support hospitals with more assistance for the geriatric unit,

nonetheless

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to aid workers with payment in instalments for taxes.

valeria.pomanteTue Sep 19 2023

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Task Response

The introduction does not present a clear opinion and does not provide a direct answer to the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. It is crucial to clearly address the specific instructions in the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks clear logical progression and coherence between ideas. The points are not effectively developed and connected, leading to a lack of cohesive flow in the essay.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary with some inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. It would benefit from using a wider variety of vocabulary to express ideas in a more precise and academic manner.

Grammatical Range

There are multiple grammatical errors throughout the essay, including verb tense inaccuracies, subject-verb agreement issues, and sentence structure problems. It is important to work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure for a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

302 words

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one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the diadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: • Your reason for writing • What you would like to happen • A nice, respectful style.

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, waves and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gass that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages ?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You are not satisfied with the changing rooms in a sports centre that you visit. Write a letter to the manager. - What the problem is - How you feel about the problem - What steps you want the manager to take