Big salary is much more important than the job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

#salary #job #satisfaction

Work

pleasure is considered to be less essential than the huge package. In my opinion, I completely disagree with

this

because career enjoyment boosts productivity

as well as

releases happy hormones. The primary reason why

job

satisfaction is important

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

it leads indirectly to success in the career. An individual working just for the sake of money, would not enjoy the duties and

as a result

, the growth-oriented ideas would not come to his mind,

however

, if the worker loves his

job

duties, there are chances that he can

work

on the skills and cherish them. The fact that an English writer named Henry, quit the

job

with a good package, and joined the literature team even though it was paying him less proves that internal desire for

work

matters a lot. The second reason why workplace contentedness is vital is happiness. When a person is at a palace where he likes to

work

, he would be at peace internally which would indirectly prosper family relations as he will be in a good mood.

In other words

, if someone is not happy at his

job

, he will have a bad mood and

consequently

show aggression towards dear ones.

This

is evident by seeing the number of divorce cases happening among the masses who misbehave with their wife after coming home from the workplace.

To conclude

, I strongly believe that

work

satisfaction is more important than a high salary because it not only helps the person to grow or prosper in life but

also

provides stability in relationships.

Submitted by pkaur3443 on Wed Oct 25 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is sound, with clear paragraphs each discussing a distinct point. However, the paragraph transitions could be smoother. Try to link your ideas more fluidly from one paragraph to the next.

Task Achievement

The introduction and conclusion were clear and precise, effectively guiding the reader as to your position on the topic. However, try to use more varied language in the introduction and conclusion to make your points stand out.

Task Achievement

Your main points were clear and coherent, and you supported them with solid examples. However, try to use more concrete, real-world examples to make your points more convincing.

Task Achievement

The response provided is complete and has a clear stance throughout the essay, addressing all parts of the task. However, some points were slightly repetitive, and you could benefit from diversifying your points a bit more to provide a more comprehensive response.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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Big salary is much more important than the job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Fully explain your ideas

Many people today are choosing to live and work in another country after graduating from university in their home country. Why is this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people feel that media coverage has become increasingly biassed today. Why is this? What can be done to fix this problem?

Students at schools and the university learn far more from lessons with the teachers than from other source (such as internet and television). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries plastic shopping bags are the main type of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree?

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?