IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people claim that too much focus and resources have been spent to protect wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #focus #resources #animals #birds
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Nowadays, many can argue that the amount spent to protect
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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 is exaggerated. In my point of view,
this
 spending and attention is justified and should be encouraged. Looking at budgets, some people are claiming that the resources that are directed toward preserving
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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 can be used to fund health and education sectors.
Also
, they claim that the extinction of any species does not affect our daily lives. As we know, that cannot be
further
 from the truth, despite the importance of sectors
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 health and education,
its
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it's
it is
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 important to take care of the ecological system, which depends on every element of it.
For example
, in case of birds were to extinct, there would be a loss of a very critical medium to transfer seeds from one location to another. On the same hand, resources and attention should be directed to protecting the environment, because the human race is the highest contributor to the damage affecting it. To illustrate, in the
last
 ten years, more species have extinct because of pollution and deforestation than in the
last
 century. If no action is taken to fix these issues and to preserve nature's wilderness, it
safe
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is safe
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 to assume that people will suffer from severe consequences. In conclusion, Despite the fact that the amount of focus and financial resources spent on the
wellbeing
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well-being
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 of animals and birds, I strongly disagree
to
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with
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 the reduction of them,
on the contrary
, more efforts should be made to help the preservation effort of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wildlife conservation
  • ecosystem preservation
  • sustainable development
  • biodiversity
  • habitat destruction
  • ecological balance
  • ethical responsibility
  • economic benefits
  • endangered species
  • poaching
  • education and awareness
What to do next:
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