IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Money should be spent on creating new public buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #buildings #museums #town #halls #ones
Some argue that the government should invest
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
conservation
 and renovations of historic
buildings
. Others believe that
this
money
 will be spent on new public
constructions
. I believe that investing public resources in the
conservation
 of existing
buildings
 can be the better option. Some of my reasons will be explored in the remainder of
this
 essay and a logical conclusion will be drawn
at the end
. Some
constructions
 are part of the history and identity of people.
Firstly
, worldwide it is possible to find different
buildings
 associated with relevant historical events. What is more, many of these are used today as museums or cultural centers to illustrate, the Zocalo in Mexico City is a complex of historical
buildings
 and it is nowadays still used as a cultural and political meeting center. Clearly,
buildings
 associated with the roots of citizens should be conserved and for
this
 proposed need of invest
money
 from governments. Another important point in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the
conservation
 of old
constructions
 is the economy.
To begin
 with, tourists travel worldwide in order to visit important
buildings
 and museums
In addition
, the tourism industry moves thousands of millions of dollars per year and for some
regions
Add a comma
,regions
show examples
this
 is the source of important income.
For example
, hundreds of people travel every year to the Yucatan Peninsula in the south of Mexico to visit the ancient ruins and museums. So, investing
money
 in
conservation
 and renovation can be beneficial to the economy of countries and regions. In conclusion, I admit that spending public
money
 on creating new public
constructions
 can contribute to urban development, but, renovation and
conservation
 of existing ones should be a priority.
Submitted by alequech on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • symbolizes
  • evolving
  • aspirations
  • incorporate
  • accessibility
  • catalyst
  • economic development
  • heritage
  • conserves
  • cultural
  • integrity
  • operational inefficiencies
  • sustainably
  • repurpose
  • throwaway culture
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental degradation
  • context-specific
What to do next:
Look at other essays: