recent years, the number of crime committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. discuss this issues. give reasons and suggest some solutions.

Nowadays, there is an increase in the number of crimes committed by youngsters despite knowing the repercussions of their actions.
This
essay will examine the main causes of the high crime rate and possible solutions to the problem.
Firstly
, we can consider the two main reasons for
this
phenomenon are lack of education and less observation from the parents and society. When children go to school, they not only learn reading and writing, but
also
, they understand how to behave in different situations through the received guidance from the teachers;
accordingly
, a new generation is built with a straight mindset.
In addition
to that, the parents and society have a vital role in observing young people's activities;
hence
, when
this
observation is not placed or it is weak, many consequences could happen and committing crimes is one of them.
Secondly
, based on the above discussion, some possible solutions to
this
problem are increasing young people's awareness and asking them to share their feelings with us. By including awareness campaigns in society or adding them in school classes, we will ensure that kids are aware of their actions
in addition
to the repercussions, so they may avoid violating laws and regulations.
Also
, if children have a well-established trust with their own parents, they will share their feelings about what they feel or think;
therefore
, they can give them the right guidance to deal with different situations.
To conclude
, there is a critical stage in everyone's life which is adulthood, in
this
stage all support is needed to direct the adults to the right approach;
hence
, we should be patient with dealing with them to ensure their safety going forward.
Submitted by rehameldweik on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the question have been addressed. Provide more specific examples to support the reasons and solutions. Establish stronger connections between the reasons, solutions, and the overall issue.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a good overall structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, ensure that each paragraph is logically connected to the previous one. Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but try to avoid repetition and consider using more varied and sophisticated vocabulary. Also, ensure that the vocabulary used is appropriate for the context.
grammatical range
Grammatical structures are well controlled, but there are instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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