It is better to take any job than to be unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think that taking any job is a more favourable option than remaining jobless. In my opinion, I partially agree with the given statement, and I will elaborate on it in

this

Linking Words

essay. On the one hand, today, our industry has developed, and we can choose various kinds of jobs.

As a result

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, when individuals want to earn some money, they can get a position easier than in the past. If they just stay in their house and do not endeavour, it is not good for their health

as well as

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social relationships.

For example

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, in South Korea, numerous young generations want to go to big companies like Samsung, LG and Korean Air.

However

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, those companies hire only a few nations so most young folks stay in their house a long time.

Consequently

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this

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phenomenon affects their parents and they disconnect from their society, which is a negative effect for them.

Therefore

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, they should take any job because it helps their health and can be independent from their parent so it is beneficial for them.

On the other hand

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, some communities do not want to get any task because they have prepared jobs that they want

such

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as public

officer

Use synonyms

, police

officer

Use synonyms

and fire

officer

Use synonyms

For instance

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, in South Korea, many young individuals want to be public officers because they are afraid about their future lives and the public

officer

Use synonyms

can work until age 60, which is guaranteed by the government.

In addition

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, they think that working

while

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studying is too hard for them and cannot concentrate on their study, they think it hurts them.

For

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this

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reason, taking any business depends on people's situation. In conclusion, I partially agree with

this

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topic. People who want to earn money right now will take any career.

Conversely

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, some communities who want to get a job in public office, do not want to earn money because they want to concentrate on their studies. So, we should choose depending on our situation and that will be good for us.

livewire53Wed Sep 20 2023

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task achievement

You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task. However, it would be beneficial to further develop your arguments with more specific examples and evidence.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure and coherence. The ideas are presented in a clear and organized manner. However, you could improve the introduction and conclusion by providing a stronger thesis statement and summarizing your main points.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary is generally effective, but there are opportunities to expand your range and use more varied and precise vocabulary.

grammatical range

Your grammatical range is sufficient, but there are some instances of grammatical errors and sentence structure issues. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence construction.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

337 words

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It is better to take any job than to be unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that it is better to spend more money to buy good-quality products that last a long time. Others think that it is better to buy cheaper products, even if they may not last as long. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measure should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

With rising concern about environmental degradation, some argue that the government should hold individuals accountable for their environmental impact. Do you agree or disagree?