All children should learn to play a musical instrument at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #instrument #school

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People

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have different views on whether it is beneficial to require all

students

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to study musical

instruments

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or not.

While

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studying how to play musical

instruments

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can bring many benefits to these children, I disagree with

this

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view, and I do believe that children should have their own autonomy to make their own choices. On the one hand, schoolers can benefit a lot from attending musical classes.

To begin

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with, learning how to play

instruments

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would cultivate their sense of art and foster their creativity compared with those

people

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who do not engage in

such

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a learning experience.

For example

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, those teenagers who have learned musical knowledge are likely to come up with creative solutions in the ever-changing workplaces. What is more, those learners would have better emotions since the atmosphere

that is

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provided by these

instruments

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is usually relaxing and exciting, which could reduce their stress from their studying.

As a result

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, they can devote themselves to studying afterwards more effectively and efficiently.

However

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, it is unreasonable to force all kids to learn

instruments

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Firstly

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, their free time is limited and should be allocated to those lessons that align with their interests and talents, which can maximise their learning efficiency. Not all schooler is interested in music.

For instance

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, some

people

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like outdoor sports, but other

people

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prefer science. If we forced them to attend those classes, there would be dissatisfaction among those

students

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By contrast

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, if schools allow them to spend their valuable time in the field that they find interesting, it would facilitate prosperity in all subjects. In conclusion, I can understand the reason why

people

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tip the balance in favour of music, but for the majority of

students

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, not all

students

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are interested in music.

Therefore

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, I would argue that we should allow children to make their own decisions.

Submitted by 915818382 on Wed Sep 20 2023

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task response

Provide a clear opinion at the beginning of the essay and maintain a balanced argument throughout.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear and cohesive structure with well-developed paragraphs.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay's lexical resource.

grammatical range

Improve sentence variety by incorporating complex and compound sentences.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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All children should learn to play a musical instrument at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why Is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Many believe that government surveillance and data collection badly affect individual privacy, but others think these are necessary for national security. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.[265]

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