IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the teenage
years
Use synonyms
 are the happiest times of most
people
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’s lives,
while
Linking Words
 others think that adult
life
Use synonyms
 brings more happiness, in spite of greater
responsibilities
Use synonyms
. First of all, I would like to discuss the main factors in both opinions that make
such
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 a difference. The main difference is age. During
teenage
Correct pronoun usage
your teenage
show examples
Use synonyms
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
 you have
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
responsibilities
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
usually
Add a comma
usually,
show examples
 you don't have a job yet,
you
Correct word choice
and you
show examples
 are living with your parents, which gives you more free
time
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 to hang out with your friends.
Moreover
Linking Words
, at
this
Linking Words
 age you
deffinetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better health to drink a
lot
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 of
alcohole
Correct your spelling
alcohol
 and smoke some
cigaretes
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
. In general, you are living
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the present without deep concerns about your future
life
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. I am only 22 and my teenage
years
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 haven't gone yet. I
defenitely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 like my university
years
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 and
schoole
Correct your spelling
school
time
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 as well. I had
meet
Wrong verb form
met
show examples
 a
lot
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 of new
people
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, visited different cities, discovered new hobbies
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
show examples
. The main advantage here comes with doing a
lot
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 of new stuff and
discover
Wrong verb form
discovering
show examples
 different places, just whatever
exept
Correct your spelling
except
 the
borring
Correct your spelling
boring
 daily routine
life
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, so over
time
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 you
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a
lot
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 of memories and stories to tell and remember.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, adult
life
Use synonyms
 brings more
responsibilities
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.To my
mind
Add a comma
mind,
show examples
 it's
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 controversial statement, as many
people
Use synonyms
 don't like to take a
lot
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 of
responsibilities
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as well as
Linking Words
 build and think about their future
life
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. Many friends gone, less free
time
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 and other factors
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may think that adult
life
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 is
borring
Correct your spelling
boring
. In conclusion, I would like to say that it's up to
people
Use synonyms
 what to choose from.

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task response
State your clear view in the intro and end with a firm opinion. Keep one main idea in each paragraph and add a short closing sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make ideas link well. Use simple joins like and, but, also, for example. Start each paragraph with a clear topic idea and end with a short line.
content
You give some personal touch and some examples.
structure
You try to discuss both sides of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Formative years
  • Autonomy
  • Fulfillment
  • Wisdom
  • Significant choices
  • Exploration
  • Financial responsibilities
  • Deeper relationships
  • Personal growth
  • Accomplishments
  • Character development
  • Life milestones
  • Adulthood
  • Adolescence
  • Carefree nature
  • Achievements
  • Life satisfaction
  • Stress-free
  • Independence
  • Responsibilities
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