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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Teenage
years
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 and
adult
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life
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 are the two sides of one coin, one side gives you a lot of fun, and the other brings you
bunch
Add an article
a bunch
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 of
responsoblilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
,
however
Linking Words
, I think it's not that simple. When your father
start
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starts
show examples
 to
remeber
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remember
 his teenage days and tells you a bunch of cool stories from his teenage
years
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, you can see the spark in his eyes, and
this
Linking Words
 is why we think that the teenage
years
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 are the best
years
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 of our
life
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 -
memory
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. Our
memory
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work
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works
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 in
specific
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a specific
the specific
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 way that the good things that we remember turn into
grate
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great
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, and bad things into terrible.
Due to
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this
Linking Words
 specific work of our
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memory
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memory,
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 we remember all
great
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the great
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 things that happened in our past like, watching
the
Correct article usage
a
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 movie first
time
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 in a cinema or playing the first
videogame
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video game
show examples
 in your
life
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, we remember that but without details. The details that we forget can increase the emotions that we felt
long
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a long
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time
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 ago. But it doesn't mean that teenage
life
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 is better just
becase
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because
 of our
memory
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, it brings you
new
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, new
show examples
 friends,
you
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and you
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 have a lot of
time
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 for fun
,
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apply
show examples
 when the
adult
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life
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is take
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is taking
is taken
show examples
 that
time
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 from you. So the teenage
years
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 are not so bad. In other
way
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way,
show examples
adult
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life
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 is not that bad. When you become
grown
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a grown
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 man or woman you
finally
Linking Words
 take the responsibility for your
life
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 from your mom and dad to yourself. You
starting
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start
show examples
 to earn money, upgrade your
knowlage
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knowledge
 and skills, and the best of
the
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apply
show examples
adult
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life
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 is
a
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the
show examples
 fact that you are the owner of your
life
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 and there are no people that can say what you must or must not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do anymore.
However
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, the responsibilities that appear when you grown enough
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not just responsibilities, they are the lessons that you need to go through so that you can keep up with your new
life
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. In my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
 the teenage
years
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 and
adult
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life
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 are
Correct your spelling
both
bouth
Correct your spelling
both
 great in their own way,
however
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
Correct your spelling
prefer
preffer
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prefer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
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life
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due to
Linking Words
 the fact that you
finally
Linking Words
 take full control
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 your
life
Use synonyms
 and take
this
Linking Words
 responsibility from your parents

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your paragraphs to clearly separate the discussion of each viewpoint before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or personal anecdotes to reinforce your points, making them clearer and more engaging.
idea clarity
You've presented a thoughtful view on the two stages of life, discussing both the pros of teenage years and adult responsibilities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Formative years
  • Autonomy
  • Fulfillment
  • Wisdom
  • Significant choices
  • Exploration
  • Financial responsibilities
  • Deeper relationships
  • Personal growth
  • Accomplishments
  • Character development
  • Life milestones
  • Adulthood
  • Adolescence
  • Carefree nature
  • Achievements
  • Life satisfaction
  • Stress-free
  • Independence
  • Responsibilities
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