Some people think that success is mainly measured by how much money a person has. To what extent do you agree?

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Global
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The global
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economic situation leads individuals to be more functional and make more
money
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for a living.
Thus
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,
people
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may consider
Correct article usage
the amounts
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amounts
Fix the agreement mistake
amount
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of wealth as an important factor for
being
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apply
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succeed
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success
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.
Although
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this
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attitude could be accurate somehow, I believe that there
are
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is
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more than one cause to call a
person
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"successful". Nowadays,
people
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are tend
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tend
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to make
money
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to improve their
wellbeing
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well-being
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.
Following
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this
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, large amounts of income could provide more opportunities for a
person
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to benefit from
healthier
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a healthier
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body and mind. But
people
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with low earnings can endeavour to build a superior
life
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.
For instance
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, physical exercises
such
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as
briskly
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brisk
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walking, running
and
Correct word choice
apply
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etc. are free and they cause
increasing
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an increase in
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the amounts of Dopamine in
brain
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the brain
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that prevent mind and body illnesses.
Hence
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,
achieve
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achieving
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health, itself, is an important goal for humans and it is
also
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possible for poor
people
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to reach that and find a sense of
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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and
success
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in their lives.
Furthermore
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,
relationship
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relationships
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is one
Verb problem
are
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another
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
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of
success
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which
people
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are concerned about
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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more than
money
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. Many
people
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who have established successful companies and now they are rich, suffer from
lack
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a lack
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of close-knit relationships in their lives.
For example
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, a wealthy
person
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needs an urgent surgery, he or she probably chooses the most professional
surgent
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surgery
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and hospital but maybe
this
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person
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spends the recovery period alone because he or she hasn't any close friends to ask them
aid
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for aid
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. Being in a friendly
relations
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relationship
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with
people
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is satisfactory
due to
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human being social and emotional needs.
As a result
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, having strong relationships is one of the keys to
be
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being
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successful in
life
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and it doesn't depend on how much
money
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you have but it
rely
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relies
show examples
on social skills. In conclusion,
economy
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the economy
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has
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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considerably changed
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people
Change noun form
people's
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attitudes towards
life
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and
success
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. A significant amount of individuals think
money
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is the most necessary aspect of their
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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and they evaluate themselves and others by
range
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a range
the range
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of wealth.
Whereas
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,I believe
success
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has different meanings to anyone. So,
people
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may concentrate on other sides of
life
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and develop themselves in those ways to feel successful.
Submitted by nikimohamadi72 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • success
  • financial wealth
  • measurement
  • achievements
  • entrepreneurs
  • personal fulfillment
  • philanthropy
  • accomplishments
  • well-being
  • material possessions
  • status symbol
  • indicators
  • self-actualization
  • monetary gains
  • non-materialistic
  • social impact
  • status
  • fulfillment
  • aspiration
  • well-off
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