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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some
people
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 believe that they avoid changing something, and love to do the same things
instead
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.
Nevertheless
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, other
people
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 argue that change always brings a good point. In my opinion, there are clear benefits after changing things, especially in some specific situations
such
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 as technologies and
work
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 circumstances, but sometimes
people
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 keep doing routine behaviour because they do not need special results, particularly old-fashioned
people
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. On the one hand, there are a lot of advantages after adapting to technologies and working.
This
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 is because these tools can help you
work
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 productively.
Furthermore
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, it
also
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 assists workers to save their working hours and
work
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 more effectively.
For example
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, many employees who
work
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 in modern companies prefer to use artificial intelligence, including ChatGPT, Chatbots, and AI tools, to help them deal with routine tasks and automatic jobs. Obviously,
this
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 helps workers achieve a better
work
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-life balance and reduces their workloads.
This
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 is quite a positive point for these kinds of
people
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 who love change.
On the other hand
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, it is difficult to motivate
people
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 to adjust their behaviour, especially outdated and elderly. Because of the ageing issue, these types of
people
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 mostly do not open their minds to learning new things.
Moreover
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, most outdated
people
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 prefer to stick to their own way
,
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apply
show examples
 and think they will do the same thing for their entire life.
For instance
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,
although
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 there are various tools that help
people
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 jot down their notes on a Cloud system, preventing data from disappearing, old-fashioned
people
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 still save their information in books by hand because it helps them with memorization. So, it depends on which way they favour. In conclusion, change is specifically useful for
people
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 who always have to adjust their working style to
work
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 more effectively and reduce routine tasks.
However
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, others who avoid changing say that the old method is more suitable for their preferences.

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Task Achievement
Try to refine your thesis statement for clearer expression of your opinion. You can also enhance the clarity of your main points in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay.
General Improvement
Make sure to avoid minor grammatical inaccuracies and check for more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures.
Task Achievement
The examples provided, especially about modern technologies and the preferences of older generations, are relevant and well-chosen.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main views discussed in the essay, which is a strong point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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