IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and theri levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #theri #levels #health #fitness #measures
Many
people
 claim that the range of public
health
 is going down
due to
 improving the average of
people
. From my point of view,
this
 attitude could be detrimental to society and it can expose public
health
 to dangerous circumstances. Regarding these types of issues, one of the most important causes can be the scarcity of information on the population
according to
 what extent the lack of movement can be effective on their
health
.
Furthermore
, increasing stress within many lifestyles could be a potent reason to take
people
 away from doing exercise or following a personal fitness program in order to stay in a good state of
health
 or be fit.
On the other hand
, when many types of processed foods and ready meals are being advertised on TV programs or even among the pupils at school, the amount of consuming these types of food will increase, obviously.
Nevertheless
, these problems could be prevented by using some approaches
such
 as informing
people
 about the advantages of working out and the disadvantages of consuming junk foods without any movement.
In addition
, encouraging
people
 to use nutritious meals and organic food would be impressive in order to avoid reducing public
health
.
Besides
, developing more fitness studios in all neighbourhoods and providing more facilities for them, would be another solution. Taking everything into consideration, increasing the average weight of
people
 could have a harmful impact on society as much as declining the rate of exercise can.
Therefore
, I recommend that the governments should be responsible for persuading
people
 to improve their level of fitness and eat a balanced diet every day.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • calorie-dense
  • processed food
  • junk food
  • unhealthy eating habits
  • physical inactivity
  • lack of exercise
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • unhealthy lifestyle
  • fast food consumption
  • advertising
  • stress
  • busy lifestyle
  • nutrition education
  • access to exercise facilities
  • cultural factors
  • government intervention
  • healthy lifestyle promotion
  • education on healthy eating
  • exercise facilities
  • taxes on unhealthy food
  • public exercise facilities
  • regulating advertising
What to do next:
Look at other essays: