It is crucial to teach children in the right direction at an early age, some individuals suggest punishment is a potential tool for helping them learn effectively, I strongly agree with this notion. In the following paragraphs, the advantages and possible types of punishments will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.

It is crucial to teach
children
in the right direction at an early age, some individuals suggest punishment is a potential tool for helping them learn effectively,and
Istrongly
Correct your spelling
I strongly
agree with
this
notion. In the following paragraphs, the advantages and possible types of
punishments
will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.
To begin
with, adequate
punishments
provide significant advantages for
children
. One of the key benefits is to be a powerful tool for parenting their offspring by reducing and eliminating undesirable behaviour
such
as lying, using rude or inappropriate language, talking back, ignoring and disregarding rules,
besides
it promotes the learning process in young people. With its effectiveness and understanding at any age, it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
the fastest way to lead the right pathway for
children
in many households, leading them to be afraid of behaving bad things and ensuring to be a good citizen.
However
,
while
inappropriate physical
punishments
including beating with a rod or stick, pulling the child's ears, or rapping a child's head or emotional
punishments
such
as humiliating, ignoring and threatening can affect negatively
children
's development, decreasing self-esteem and inducing rude behaviour, appropriated
punishments
that could be helpful for young people and students are grounding, which allow them to self-thinking and accept a mistake. Another good discipline is an increase in chores, promoting housework skills and increasing time
together with
parents. In conclusion,
punishments
offer many advantages for
children
and parents
such
as a potential tool for parenting, promoting the learning process and minimising undesirable actions.
However
,
this
could bring a negative consequence for their offspring by using inappropriate punishment.
Therefore
, choosing the right method for teaching by a teacher or parent could create a good model citizen for society in the future.
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task and discusses the advantages and disadvantages of punishment as a tool for teaching children. However, to improve, make sure you address both sides of the argument more comprehensively. Consider including more detailed examples or evidence to support your points, especially those that reflect the negative impacts of inappropriate punishment.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally flows well with a logical structure. However, transitioning between ideas could be smoother. For instance, instead of starting a paragraph with 'To begin with,' use more specific transitional phrases to better connect your ideas. Additionally, clarify sentences with minor grammatical errors for better readability, such as 'One of the key benefits is to be a powerful tool for parenting their offspring by reducing and eliminating undesirable behaviour.' It could be rewritten for clarity as: 'One of the key benefits of punishment is that it serves as a powerful tool for parenting, helping to reduce and eliminate undesirable behavior.'
task achievement
Your essay effectively identifies the advantages and potential types of punishments, providing a clear outline of the content to follow in your introduction.
task achievement
The inclusion of both physical and emotional punishments, with examples, strengthens your argument and presents a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and reiterates the importance of choosing appropriate methods of punishment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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