In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?
Open spaces and parks in many cities are being altered by gardens in which inhabitants are able to plant vegetables and fruit on their own.
While
this
trend carries some drawbacks, this
writer argues that the benefits of encouraging the consumption of a healthy diet and connecting people outweigh the downside of posing a risk of toxins to the environment.
It is crucial to acknowledge that repurposing more farming areas could stimulate the habit of eating healthy food. It must be recognized that people love enjoying their own food grown. Therefore
, if more fruits and vegetables were grown, individuals would realize the meaning of consuming this
type of food. Thus
it can be seen that reconstructing public spaces to gardens is likely to raise citizens's awareness of rearing and having healthy meals.
Furthermore
, planting green products could foster a sense of community among local residents. It is evident that as residents take care of greens, they will communicate with each other on a variety of topics. Consequently
, their relationships could be improved rapidly.This
will benefit both individuals and communities as a whole.
However
, some citizens express apprehension about the fertilizers contained in the process of planting. They argue that the fertilizers could have an adverse effect on the environment, as a result
, the local soil and water would be polluted and may lead to many detrimental influences. While
this
viewpoint is valid, inhabitants are also
conscious of using organic compounds to help their plants. Hence
, toxic contents are not a considerable problem thanks to the harmless development of plant improvers.
In conclusion, the disadvantages of harmful content in fertilizers are outweighed by the new habit of consuming and the connection between people. As a consequence
, repurposing open places to form gardening extents remains a superior benefit in the current era.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help in making your arguments stronger and more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay. For instance, you can use more cohesive devices such as "Moreover," "Additionally," or "On the other hand," instead of just "Furthermore."
task achievement
Though your ideas are clear and comprehensive, consider expanding a bit more on the potential downsides to provide a more balanced view. This will not only show your ability to provide a nuanced analysis but also strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, effectively framing the essay and providing a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
The essay covers all parts of the task, providing a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of repurposing public parks into gardens.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments. This helps in presenting a coherent essay.
task achievement
The essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas, making it easy to understand your viewpoint.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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