IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Poverty is the most common problem in many developing nations. Offering free primary
education
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 is believed to be the best way to solve
this
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 problem
,
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apply
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 so that
people
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 can improve their reading, writing and numbering skills. I strongly disagree with the aforementioned statement because of its various drawbacks.
This
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 essay will discuss the reason for my differences.
To begin
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 with, the first and foremost reason is that only free schooling is not effective enough to develop the country.
Although
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education
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 can provide
people
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 with wisdom and knowledge, the development of society takes a long process. Many poor
people
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 will not see these long-term benefits and want to be provided with the basic necessities.
For instance
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, their priority is some aspects like food, shelter and clothes.
Thus
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,
instead
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 of joining in free tuition, many
people
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 like to do some manual
labor
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labour
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 to make a living.
Furthermore
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, the government has to spend a large sum of money to provide free
education
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. In fact, these developing countries can not afford to provide free tuition for about 6 years for all
people
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. They have to raise the taxes of other citizens or take money from other areas to make up for it.
This
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 may add to poverty rather than solve it
,
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apply
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 and even restrain the development of society.
To conclude
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then
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, no doubt,
education
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 has its own importance
to raise
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in raising
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 the country's economy, but the government still has to consider the aspirations of the poor and the amount of money they can spend.
Therefore
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, the modernisation of existing professions and
Correct article usage
the creating
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creating
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creation
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more
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of more
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 job opportunities would be more impressive to combat poverty.

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task response
The essay does not fully address the task, and the response lacks depth and clarity. The arguments presented are not comprehensive enough to fully discuss the topic. More detailed and clear ideas are needed to meet the requirements of the task.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat clear, but the introduction and conclusion lack focus and do not effectively frame the response. More clarity and precision in introducing and concluding the essay is required.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates some range in vocabulary and uses a variety of words, but there is still room for improvement. More precise and appropriate word choice, as well as more varied and complex vocabulary, will enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
While the essay shows some control of a range of structures, there are still notable inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that affect the overall clarity and coherence of the response. More attention to sentence structure and grammar is needed to improve the grammatical range and accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • functional literacy
  • numeracy skills
  • educational opportunity
  • employment prospects
  • critical thinking
  • empowerment
  • inequality reduction
  • sustainable development
  • innovation
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