IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

People's live are now surrounded by advertisement. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #advertisement #impact #lives
These days, advertising covers the entire environment around
people
, and its negative results can be seen in the
lives
 of most
people
. Personally, I agree with
this
 view because of the financial implications and
people
's dissatisfaction with life. In the modern world, there are many factories that
use
 massive advertising around the world and lose a lot of money. The majority of men and women are faced with a large number of products and goods every day, which in most cases they do not need, but under the influence of the effects of advanced advertising techniques, they purchase them, and in fact, when they realize that the purchased product It is not usable
due to
 lack of efficiency, and
as a result
 they have wasted their money.
For example
, those who cook a lot decide to buy an electric slow cooker after encountering extensive advertisements on TV or social networks
such
 as YouTube and Instagram, but never
use
 it because of its excessive electricity consumption not
use
.
In addition
, despite the constant purchases,
due to
 unequal financial incomes, middle-class
people
 always compare their
lives
 with those who
use
 new products, which ultimately causes them dissatisfaction.
For example
, there are many clothing brands that produce fashionable clothes on a weekly basis, and the general public cannot afford all the clothes, so they feel poor and dissatisfied with their
lives
.
As a result
, the destructive effects of mass advertising are very significant in the modern world. In my opinion, there are many
people
 who not only lose their money despite the many purchases but
also
 are not satisfied with their
lives
due to
 the large variety of products.
Submitted by zare.19866 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and use topic sentences to guide the reader through the essay.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task and provide well-developed ideas with relevant, specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: