some people argue that because the internet make it so easy for children to access facts, schools should not focus on teaching facts. instead they should focus on developing children's skills and potential, and their relationships with other people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the technology
era
anybody has access to the Internet particularly, Add a comma
era,
children
are adept to
it. Many individuals think that improving Change preposition
at
students
' potentials
and social Fix the agreement mistake
potential
skills
is more effective than teaching facts
to them. I completely agree with this
idea and this
essay will discuss my views.
Firstly
, the Internet is available on any gadget and it presents factual information to children
in any subject that they need to learn. YouTube is an example of an online tool, which covers the full range of practical and new content based on modern educational approaches. Also
, if students
with special learning abilities or issues shift away from fact-based teaching to online resources, they could benefit from various types of subjects and methods to reach their goals. Hence
, it would not be necessary to teach facts
to students
because they have a better option for learning in modern education.
Furthermore
, improving special skills
in children
could be more beneficial in new societies. Due to
today's job market needs it is important to put more emphasis on developing social and functional skills
. For example
, computer science, leadership qualities, emotional and social skills
, etc. could considerably prepare students
for being a
professional employees. Correct article usage
apply
What today's
world needs people who are productive and can function with Correct pronoun usage
Today's
high potential
qualities Add a hyphen
high-potential
such
as teamwork, negotiation, and delegation. So it is a better alternative for schools to move away from teaching facts
and toward skill-based teaching.
In conclusion, schools should be more productive and focus on skills
because it is what children
really need to learn. focusing on facts
only can grow people who are great in a few aspects. it would have superior results for our modern lives if schools change
their teaching approaches.Wrong verb form
changed
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response. Yet, the extent of your agreement could be more specifically explained to enhance the effectiveness of your argument.
task achievement
Try to provide concrete examples and evidence from credible sources to support your main points. This could involve citing educational studies or statistics, which would lend more weight to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is apparent, but it could be improved by creating well-defined paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Additionally, work on the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs using a wider range of linking words.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, but they could be developed further. The introduction could better outline the main points that will be discussed, and the conclusion might summarize them more effectively while reinforcing your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Main points are present, yet they lack full development through examples and elaboration. Elaborating on points with examples or further explanation will strengthen your paragraph structure.