Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information , such as their hobbies and interests , and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful . Others disagree Discuss both views and give your own opnions.
There is no denying the fact that there are many
employers
who ask people
for their personal information
and they see it very
good to know for their own reasons but there are Change preposition
as very
people
who disagree. While
it is a commonly held belief that employers
who want to know the personal information
of other people
, there is also
an argument that there are people
disagree with this
. This
essay will discuss both points of view and express my opinion.
On the one hand, it is beneficial as
an employer to know the personal Change preposition
for
information
of other people
who want to apply for the jobs. In other words
, employers
need to know everything about you to know how you will react in every situation. In addition
, employers
want to know if you are married or not to analyse your daily routine. For example
, Cambridge University did a study about if
Correct word choice
whether
employers
benefit from asking other people
about their personal information
, they said that 89% of employers
found it beneficial to know their daily routine.
On the other hand
, many people
see it in another way. It is also
possible to say that people
who ask for jobs say that it is unnecessary to let other employers
know about your life. Moreover
, many people
do not have anything to share so they find it embarrassing. For instance
, in Saudi Arabia most employers
ask you if you have any hobbies to share because they want to see if you have a social life, 59% see it as a bad question.
In conclusion, there are no easy answers to this
question. On balance, however
, I tend to believe that it is important to let employers
ask people
who want the jobs about your daily routine or hobbies to see if you deserve the job or not.Submitted by bcynfn159 on
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task response
Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both views and providing your opinion. However, try to expand on your reasoning slightly more in the body paragraphs to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph seamlessly connects to the next. You've done a good job but could improve the logical flow by using transition words like 'furthermore' or 'consequently.'
introduction conclusion
You have clearly introduced the topic in the introduction and provided a balanced conclusion, which is a strong point of your essay.
logical structure
The essay demonstrates a logical structure with both perspectives discussed before concluding with your opinion.