The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Other think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both view and give your opinions.

#range #technology #people #gap #effect

Nowadays, the range of available

technology

has expanded, leading to a clear hierarchy between poor and rich and some

people

think that it can

give

Verb problem

have

show examples

more positive effects. From my point of view,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that it has more advantages. On the one hand, there are many reasons why

people

think the growing range of available

technology

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

the gap between rich and poor. With the advancements in

automation

Add a comma

automation,

show examples

there are many things which cannot be afforded by various groups of

people

For instance

, in many rich

houses

Add a comma

houses,

show examples

there is artificial intelligence in their homes to help household chores with voice work, which not everyone can buy.

Furthermore

, apart from

mobiles

Add a comma

mobiles,

show examples

there are many modern treatments which could be costly so it has many

improverished

Correct your spelling

impoverished

people

who are losing their life because they cannot afford to pay for treatments.

For example

, there are many poor children who are affected by deadly diseases are dying because they are poor and cannot pay high prices for their treatments.

On the other hand

this

elevation in mechanization and computers can bring more advantages to all classes of

people

who are living because some top organisations whose primary priority are their customers rather than cost.

For instance

, many hospitals in my city give a fifty

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

discount to those who have health insurance.

Besides

that, there are many services so that all classes can access

technology

For example

, many

technology

stores

all

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have

installment

Change the spelling

instalment

show examples

payment services for

technology

items. In conclusion,

although

the growth of the range of available

technology

increases the

gat

Correct your spelling

gap

show examples

between the rich and the poor, there are many advantages for all

people

Submitted by khoiminhnguyen1411 on Wed Sep 20 2023

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Task Response

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the main topic and the viewpoint. Also, develop a clearer conclusion at the end of the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Focus on using more cohesive devices and linkers to connect ideas. Additionally, make sure to structure the essay with an introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, and a concluding paragraph.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Other think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both view and give your opinions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that increasing tax on various industries will reduce pollution whereas others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it’s a waste of time. Discuss both sides of question!

Some people think it is more beneficial to play sports that are played in teams, e.g. football. Some people think individual sports e.g. tennis and swimming are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

More and more schools allow fast food restaurant to sell their products to their students.Is it a positive or a negative development?