IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarictic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places.

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarictic #visit
Currently, many tourists have been fascinated to travel and visit strange areas and
places
 which are hard to stay at in the past century.
Although
this
 has several advantages, it has caused many problems for them. In
this
 essay, I will point out the merits and demerits of travelling to
such
places
 with difficult conditions.
To begin
,
people
 are encouraged to go on trips to
places
 that are rare and still have their own beauty.
Due to
 globalization, cities and countries around the world are becoming identical to each other.
Also
, well-known areas are losing their attractions.
This
 is caused by the social media and
people
's opinions about them. So, with a click of a button, almost everyone can have access to these opinions about those popular
places
, and
then
 watch video clips and photos, which makes
people
 less attracted worldwide.
Therefore
,
people
 are likely to find new
places
 to visit that few
people
 have travelled to.
However
,
this
 can adversely affect rare natural beauty spots or less-found tourist attractions. Tourism and travelling to these
places
 can lead to construction and new accommodations there which could result in destroying the natural habitats of many species.
Also
, human habitation, poaching and illegal hunting may eventually lead to the extinction of some animals and species in the long term.
To sum up
, tourism has made travelling interesting and sometimes old-fashioned ways are not adequate.
Then
 traveling organizations try to find less-known
places
 to attract more tourists.
This
 may have positive and negative consequences, and governments around the world are required to introduce new approaches and laws to protect these rare areas,
such
 as Antarctica and the Sahara desert.
Submitted by bb_emperator on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Address the main aspects of the essay prompt more directly
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a more consistent and clear structure in the introduction and conclusion
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely
grammatical range
Use more diverse and complex sentence structures for better fluency

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: