Some people think that sports teach children how to compete, while others believe that children learn teamwork. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #children #teamwork

Most people believe that

sports

teachers encourage

children

to do well in many competitions. At the same time, others argue that the most improvement for

children

is teamwork. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views. Winning in the

sports

competition

builds the

school

's reputation and pride. Most student is encouraged by the

school

to win in

sports

competitions. It may be because of that

school

already has achieved thropy in yearly. They obsess in order to win in the

competition

again.

As a result

sports

teachers play a key role in maintaining student ability to get a winner. They have to address a strategy,

such

as how to build self-motivation and agility to solve their problem. Learning in formal education is open to a wide range in order to solve a certain situation. Most teacher prefer to work

together with

their friend to solve a problem. Sharing knowledge between students is important to gain more experience to win in some competitions rather than compete with each other.

For instance

, the

children

are encouraged by a teacher to work together in order to win a soccer

competition

. Indeed, it is difficult for soccer players to do it themselves. Doing discussions with their team should be the opportunity to improve their strategy to win in a

competition

To conclude

, obsessing in

sports

competition

would develop the reputation and pride of the

school

Children

must be able to fulfil any strategy to win in the

competition

such

as self-motivation and as a solver.

On the other hand

, Winning in a

sports

competition

needs teamwork. They are encouraged to share their experience to develop strategies with their friend. It is better to win in the

sports

competition

by working together.

Submitted by haloalwan on Wed Sep 20 2023

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task response

Task Response: The essay addresses both views regarding sports and children, but the arguments lack depth and complexity. The points made could be more developed and supported.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a logical structure and includes an introduction and conclusion. However, the ideas lack coherence and the supporting points are not well-developed or linked together effectively.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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