IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Recently, the issue has been brought into focus is the
government
 in some countries just care about the progress of the economy. Others think
that is
 right but some people do not agree with
this
 idea. In
this
 essay, we will discuss
this
 problem. No one can deny the fact that economic progress made money to build infrastructure. If we had money, we would
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 conditions to improve the education system. So that people can improve
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 life
as well as
 more happiness. The most familiar example of
this
 is in
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Vietnam's
government
 was giving tax breaks to encourage multinational companies to build factories to have
availability
Replace the word
available
show examples
 jobs.
However
, that
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 a reason for
drop
Add an article
the drop
show examples
 in
sell
Change the verb form
selling
show examples
 local products. It can
also
 argued that
besides
 improving the economy, the
government
 needs to focus on the
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problem.
Because if
Correct word choice
If
show examples
 people
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in a
pollution
Replace the word
polluted
show examples
 environment with many toxic
waster
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
, they will have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
bad health
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
an
show examples
unsustainable way. A better example of
this
 can be provided by
Formosa
Correct article usage
the Formosa
show examples
 company in Vietnam
emis
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a chemical waster
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the beach,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 many
fishes
Fix the agreement mistake
fish
show examples
 and seafood
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
died.
However
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education must be
care
Wrong verb form
cared
show examples
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
, because of the future of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. In conclusion, The
government
 needs to focus not only on economic progress but
also
other
Change preposition
on other
show examples
 issues
such
 as environment and education to grow up sustainable.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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