Prision is the best punishment for criminals. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed by some people that
criminals
Use synonyms
should be punished best in jail.
However
Linking Words
, prisons are an acute part in order to control the crime rates. From my perspective, prisons can not fully curb the problem it will make
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
more aggressive and
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
society into a threat zone. The foremost reason to deny
this
Linking Words
notion is
sent
Wrong verb form
that sending
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to prison is not the particular solution to the problem. Some
criminals
Use synonyms
commit crimes
such
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as stealing materialistic things or money because of their poor circumstances
such
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as poverty and to get medical treatment.
Also
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, in the case of drug addicts, they are not even aware of right and wrong and they commit illegal activities against the law. Strict punishment like lockup in both scenarios can spoil the future of the
criminals
Use synonyms
because society looks upon them in disguise, provides a bad character certificate for their whole life and leaves them with a devastating career which results in a more aggressive and depressive nature.
On the other hand
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, a better civilization is vital for building a secure society. The
criminals
Use synonyms
after completing their punishments in jail lose the feeling of socialization and develop a sense of blaming others for their circumstances. So anger and aggression force them to commit more crimes and harm the common people because they can not adapt themselves to the outer environment after spending a long time in the cell.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reports from Indonesia revealed that most of the murders were done for money during
last
Linking Words
year made by old prisoners who suffered from mental trauma.
To conclude
Linking Words
, to fully curb the crime, the aim should be to diminish the root of the problem rather than sending it to jail.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents your stance but could be clearer. Try stating your opinion more directly in the introduction to provide the reader with a clearer idea of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly supports your thesis. The points made are good, but their development and connection to your argument could be improved.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. While you mention some statistics, elaborating on them and explaining their significance would strengthen your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using linking words and phrases can help improve the flow of your essay, making it easier for readers to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion on the topic and supported it with some reasoning.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and explores both the argument for and against prison as a punishment.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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