IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Problem: International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local habitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

#tourism #places #time #concern #impact #habitants #environment
Nowadays, all over the world, the topic of the impact of
tourism
 is omnipresent.
While
 some
people
 think the advantages of international
tourism
 exist, other
people
 think there are disadvantages to international
tourism
. From my point of view, I think both perspectives are valid for the reasons discussed below. On the one hand, as far as the advantages of international
tourism
 are concerned,
firstly
, to a large extent, especially in modern times, no matter where in the world you live
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when you welcome a lot of
people
 from overseas, you can develop the local economy
due to
 the fact that tourist stayed for holidays leading to
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 money on shops, hotels and restaurants.
Secondly
, and most importantly, when you are a resident, you
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 meet
people
 from overseas in order to be interesting and open-minded, and you could discover new languages and new cultures.
On the other hand
, there are disadvantages to international
tourism
. First and foremost, by and large, in both developed and developing countries, you can endommage nature owing to the fact that busy areas need to expand, resulting in to destruction of natural habitats and the loss of endangered animals.
In addition
, local
people
 could leave the areas because of the feeling that they are not free anymore, and the city
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 overcrowded, with an increase in traffic jams leading to more pollution. In conclusion,
while
 some
people
 think the advantages of international
tourism
 exist, others say there are disadvantages to international
tourism
.
However
, In my opinion, both perspectives have value for the above-mentioned reasons.
Submitted by tony.vantroo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: