113.Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific reseach, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.
Some say that
information
about research should be shared with everyone, while
others would argue that it is better to keep some information
confidential. This
essay will argue that although
not sharing information
can reduce competition
, sharing data
can lead to better goods and consumers will be more confident.
On the one hand, not sharing some data
can reduce competition
between companies. This
is because by not giving some information
, the companies will remain ahead of the competitors and avoid patent issues. Sharing knowledge such
as finance and the algorithm confidential might cost the organization a lot of money and take away its competitive advantage and this
might cause a reduction in their earnings and their reputation. For example
, Inditex normally only shares part of their data
, because if other clothes brands know all the information
and the reason why they succeed, can cause higher competition
in the market. However
, I believe pioneers always have more profit and are more successful than the followers.
On the other hand
, sharing information
makes people
more confident. Since they know about all the process and all the details of the product, normally, people
are more willing to use something that they are sure they are not harmful. Also
, sharing information
can lead to better products
. This
is because there will be more people
working for the same aim. Individuals can help each other to get the final results think of possible solutions and improve the product. For instance
, there are many scientific researches that succeed because scientists share information
with others and work together to get the result they want. In my opinion, sharing information
can lead to the improvement of products
for consumers.
In conclusion, although
there is less competition
when people
do not share data
about their business, sharing information
, people
will trust more in the products
and there will be better products
, I, therefore
, believe that it is better to share information
with others.Submitted by elenazheng1211 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good. However, the logical flow could be tightened. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and that the main idea is clearly stated in the topic sentence. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the essay's progression.
task achievement
While the essay addresses both sides of the argument, the specific examples provided to support points could be more detailed and relevant. Aim to demonstrate how the examples directly support your thesis. Additionally, make sure your response remains focused on the specific task, avoiding generalized or overly broad statements.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?