More and more media attention is being paid to famous, successful people in sports and movies. Why do you think this is happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, more and more famous sports players and actors obtain exposure to various
media
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, so the public can easily acquire a variety of these
celebrities
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' news and information.
According to
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this
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kind of phenomenon, different humans hold sundry opinions. It is a prevalent phenomenon that sports players and actors acquire much attention from their supporters
as well as
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the
media
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because of their positive image and charisma.
Therefore
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, the public often sees famous
people
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appear in a variety of programs and news, whereby projectors who make broadcasts usually benefit from
celebrities
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because popular
people
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are eye-catching.
As a result
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, we can say good or bad ratings of one channel result from well-known humans and
that is
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the reason why the
media
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take note of them quite frequently.
Additionally
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, the
media
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derive benefits from
celebrities
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, and the opposite can be true as well.
According to
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the aforementioned descriptions, some
people
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argue that it will cause a favourable result because distinguished and successful personages share their experiences of how they succeeded and what difficulties they came across, which resonate with the multitude through the screen.
Accordingly
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, their stories may inspire the masses to resemble the renowned’s endeavour and perseverance. Arguably, it builds quite a nice society.
However
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, some
people
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dissent from the
media
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’s too much exposure because of imbalanced coverage. If the
media
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only care about successful humans in some fields and are not concerned about other important personages or issues, watchers will overlook what is happening in other sections.
Furthermore
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, it may bring about negative aftermaths if some conscienceless
media
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fabricate fake news about
celebrities
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for viewership. In a nutshell, the
media
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provides good channels for supporters to enable them to know about their
favorite
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favourite
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singers’ or players’ different prospects. Simultaneously, massive publicity for the famous brings about an imbalanced distribution of a wide range of events.
Consequently
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, the
media
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’s inclination favours some parts of viewers, but
also
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breeds inequity.

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task achievement
While the essay provides a relevant response to the prompt, it would benefit from clearer examples and more diverse perspectives to enrich the argument. Consider adding specific instances from recent media trends or societal impacts to strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
The essay's ideas are presented logically, but working on smoother transitions between paragraphs and main points will enhance flow. Ensure that each paragraph leads naturally to the next and explores each point thoroughly before introducing a new one.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively presents an introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion around media attention on famous individuals.
task achievement
Your balanced view of both the positive and negative impacts of media attention provides a well-rounded response to the question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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