More and more media attention is being paid to famous, successful people in sports and movies. Why do you think this is happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, more and more famous sports players and actors obtain exposure to various

media

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, so the public can easily acquire a variety of these

celebrities

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' news and information.

According to

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this

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kind of phenomenon, different humans hold sundry opinions. It is a prevalent phenomenon that sports players and actors acquire much attention from their supporters

as well as

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the

media

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because of their positive image and charisma.

Therefore

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, the public often sees famous

people

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appear in a variety of programs and news, whereby projectors who make broadcasts usually benefit from

celebrities

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because popular

people

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are eye-catching.

As a result

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, we can say good or bad ratings of one channel result from well-known humans and

that is

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the reason why the

media

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take note of them quite frequently.

Additionally

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, the

media

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derive benefits from

celebrities

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, and the opposite can be true as well.

According to

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the aforementioned descriptions, some

people

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argue that it will cause a favourable result because distinguished and successful personages share their experiences of how they succeeded and what difficulties they came across, which resonate with the multitude through the screen.

Accordingly

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, their stories may inspire the masses to resemble the renowned’s endeavour and perseverance. Arguably, it builds quite a nice society.

However

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, some

people

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dissent from the

media

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’s too much exposure because of imbalanced coverage. If the

media

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only care about successful humans in some fields and are not concerned about other important personages or issues, watchers will overlook what is happening in other sections.

Furthermore

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, it may bring about negative aftermaths if some conscienceless

media

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fabricate fake news about

celebrities

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for viewership. In a nutshell, the

media

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provides good channels for supporters to enable them to know about their

favorite

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favourite

show examples

singers’ or players’ different prospects. Simultaneously, massive publicity for the famous brings about an imbalanced distribution of a wide range of events.

Consequently

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, the

media

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’s inclination favours some parts of viewers, but

also

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breeds inequity.

hayashidajinja820Fri Oct 25 2024

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task achievement

While the essay provides a relevant response to the prompt, it would benefit from clearer examples and more diverse perspectives to enrich the argument. Consider adding specific instances from recent media trends or societal impacts to strengthen your position.

coherence cohesion

The essay's ideas are presented logically, but working on smoother transitions between paragraphs and main points will enhance flow. Ensure that each paragraph leads naturally to the next and explores each point thoroughly before introducing a new one.

coherence cohesion

The essay effectively presents an introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion around media attention on famous individuals.

task achievement

Your balanced view of both the positive and negative impacts of media attention provides a well-rounded response to the question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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More and more media attention is being paid to famous, successful people in sports and movies. Why do you think this is happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Write a letter to a friend. You have borrowed something from your friend and it got damaged. a) apologize for damaging the product b) explain what happened c) say how are you going to fix the issue

Some people think that private companies should not be allowed to carry out any technology. Only the government can do it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that those who are selfish and does not care about others are more likely to success at work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?