Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe that there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your own oppinion

#people #happiness #factors #influence #oppinion

It is often argued that every

person

is solely accountable for their own happiness

while

others emphasise that there are some external components that can cause a great sense of attainment. Because

People

interpret happiness for themselves in so many different ways it is difficult to give any clear explanation

that is

true for everyone. A

person

should be aware of things which make him/her happy. It is not uncommon that communities with posh cars, designer clothes and tons of money remain unsatisfied and unhappy despite the fact they have everything that any regular human could hardly afford. In simple words, if there are various kinds of fulfilment for different

people

then

the first step in achieving would be to have a degree of self-knowledge. A human needs to know who he or she is before being able to know what can make him or her. In recent study concluded that over 55% of

people

in metro cities who live a lavish

life

are struggling with mental and psychological issues. Nothing in

this

world can make somebody happier than his own mindset.

Therefore

, they need to work on themselves before expecting joy from materialistic things.

Nevertheless

, Factors

such

as loving relationships, good health, the skills to earn ,and a peaceful

life

can impact

people

's lives. Some

people

find joy in achieving goals and promotion in their jobs. Some would find it in costly amenities. Some think travelling makes their soul light. It is a subjective matter of what can make a

person

happy.

Overall

I think an ability to keep a clear perspective in

life

is an essential factor in living a happy

life

. By that I mean an ability to have a clear sense of what is important in our lives is all you need to retain satisfaction in

life

. In conclusion, I believe that

person

should take responsibility

Change preposition

for

show examples

their own peace of mind.

Therefore

,self-awareness is the most important thing which is hard to gain I think these are factors that may be the most important for everyone.

Submitted by sharmap1811 on Thu Sep 21 2023

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task response

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the two opposing views on the topic and your own opinion. Pay attention to structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs with supporting examples, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical progression of your ideas by using transition words and cohesive devices to connect your sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points made in the essay.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe that there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your own oppinion

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are a important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate about whether people have the right to attend college so the governor should cover the tuition waiving. Meanwhile, from in my point of view, I do not consider myself an advocate of this idea.

I didn't have any nightmare travel experiences, but my friend has had such an experience.

In many countries nowadays,consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative?