IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Prision is the best punishment for criminals. Do you agree or disagree?

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There are various crimes and different punishments nowadays
thus
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 imprisonment is the one of
punishment
Use synonyms
 methods for offences.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of
prisonation
Correct your spelling
presentation
pronation
 and give examples and my opinion on that statement.
Firstly
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, there are various punishments were introduced by the government for criminals. It might
depend
Add the preposition
depend on
show examples
 a fine to the
prison
Use synonyms
. If some
people
Use synonyms
 did minor offenses
such
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 as wrong parking or high speed we should not give imprisonment as his or her
punishment
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. The police officers advised or prescribed a fine as their
punishment
Use synonyms
.
However
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, if someone kills
people
Use synonyms
 we must punish that person
while
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 admitted to
prison
Use synonyms
. In that time
prison
Use synonyms
 is the best solution for
punishment
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, always
prison
Use synonyms
 is not suitable for all offenders. Because
people
Use synonyms
 have different mind levels
consequently
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 those offenders might be cruel and stressed in the prisons. Sometimes they are affected by depression like mental disorders. If we send those
people
Use synonyms
 to either the probation centres or the rehabilitation centres it might be a good decision than
prison
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, all of us have a responsibility to guide our children from birth to become good adults in the future. As parents and
teachers
Add a comma
teachers,
show examples
 we should give good education to children about discipline and law. In conclusion,
this
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 essay discussed both the pros and cons of
prison
Use synonyms
 as the best
punishment
Use synonyms
 method for offences nowadays and gave examples. I strongly believe, that imprisonment is not the best way to
Use synonyms
punishment
Replace the word
punish
show examples
 and we can manage it in different ways as probation, a fine, rehabilitation and education than
prison
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Task Response: The essay provides a balanced argument on the topic, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of imprisonment as a punishment. It also presents examples to support the points made. However, the conclusion does not strongly reflect the writer's opinion on the topic. A clearer position should be stated.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is mostly coherent, with clear introduction and conclusion present. However, there are issues with the development of main points and their support throughout the essay. The organization of ideas could be improved for better coherence.
lexical resource
Lexical Resource: The essay shows a reasonable range of vocabulary and uses some appropriate examples. However, there are instances of word choice and collocation errors that affect the overall lexical resource of the essay. More varied and precise vocabulary should be used to enhance the quality of expression.
grammatical range
Grammatical Range: The essay demonstrates a fair command of grammar, but there are several grammar errors and inaccuracies throughout. These errors affect the overall clarity of the writing. More attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy is needed.
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